To see with your eyes
by Fleurhana Ybel
Summary: The two of them left Mihoshi Academy after an incident that left them broken. Kanō and Mihashi decided to join Nishiura High School with the hope of continuing to play baseball. However, there is a secret they must hide from the team in order for them to remain – that Mihashi Ren is blind. But there is never a secret that can be kept forever…
1. Joining Nishiura

**Chapter 1  
**_**Joining Nishiura**_

* * *

"Are… we there yet?"

Kanō looked at the person who walked beside him. It had been the third time since Mihashi asked the question. He understood how his friend felt so nervous at that time, so he kept his ears close to listen at the panicky remarks Mihashi made. Kanō kept the gaze at the other boy for some seconds before he turned his head back at the path in front of them. He was not sure if answering Mihashi would make the latter relax for even a little bit.

"We're not too far," Kanō answered.

Kanō Shūgo noticed that Mihashi tilted his head towards him. He let a small smirk settle upon his lips as his friend continued to give him a puzzled look. Well, he did not know what answer would be best for Mihashi to hear, so he decided to give the latter a safe one. Although, it seemed that Mihashi only felt confused because of his vague response. Kanō's playful smirk still rested upon his face as he and Mihashi continued to walk forward.

"_Shū-chan_… y-you're making fun of… me," Mihashi voiced out, which finally made Kanō laughed out softly.

"I'm not," he answered, his amusement dying down slowly. "You look nervous, _Ren_." He informed his friend. "I'm not just sure if telling you that we're already _here_ will make you feel any comfortable," Kanō said as he placed his hands behind his head, still looking at his friend.

"W-W-We're at the b-b-baseball club?!" Mihashi's voice sounded a pitch higher than normal. Kanō smiled weakly at the appearance of the typical Mihashi behavior, although it only proved that the nervousness had been set off. Taking off his eyes briefly from the still fidgeting Mihashi, Kanō placed the drawn map in front of him.

"Yup," he muttered as he compared the location with the symbols drawn in the map. "We are here." He added while he flicked his eyes back at Mihashi. He sighed when he saw that his friend still appeared unnerved at that point. Kanō inched forward and dropped a thoughtful hand atop Mihashi's shoulder. The latter immediately stopped fiddling as a feeling of comfort washed over him. "Ren, you told me you'll just be _watching_–" Kanō almost slapped his mouth shut when he felt the guilt shot up inside him upon stating that word "–the club," he said and he never noticed that he was silent after.

"O-O-Of course," Mihashi immediately replied, but seemed oblivious of the remorseful expression that appeared upon Kanō's face. "Shū-chan's supposed… to join the baseball club." He stated, which made Kanō look at him with pain. "Shū-chan is an amazing pitcher!" Mihashi said in such conviction that made Kanō feel a little happy, although it was not enough to wipe off the frown that now marred Kanō's countenance. "I'll… be rooting for you," Mihashi added with a smile; Kanō's grimace only deepened.

Kanō attempted for a reply, but his mouth only worded some silent words. He only walked ahead.

Kanō felt that Mihashi started to follow him. Until now, he didn't know how to properly speak to Mihashi without bringing up _that_ sensitive topic. They were close when they were kids, but they had been even closer _now_, but it did not even eased the discomfort Kanō felt deep in his chest. He wanted to help Mihashi; he wanted his friend to feel happy. But the day when he would never mention _that_ particular matter still avoided him. There had never been a day when he and Mihashi escaped from the memories of the past.

At least he was half-glad that Mihashi did not see his expression. His friend had always been touchy-feely; with the dejected look Kanō now sported, Mihashi would surely be affected by it. He would be confused by it; Mihashi would be concerned because of it. And those were the last things Kanō would not want Mihashi to worry about. His friend had been too lonely for too long, had suffered so much. Even if it was trivial, Kanō would do his best just to stop sadness from coming into Mihashi _again_. Kanō promised that he would protect Mihashi with everything he had.

"Shū-chan?" Mihashi called out his friend's attention. "You're not thinking… about _it_… are you?" He asked. Kanō stopped as soon as he heard it and quickly whipped his face back at Mihashi.

"N-No!" Kanō replied, with his voice slightly strained. "We're going to join this school's baseball club, so there's no reason to feel lonely, _ne_?"

"R-Really?" Mihashi answered back. "I-I just think… that meeting up with the baseball club… is the reason for you to think more about… _it_." As he explained, a frown descended upon his face.

Kanō bit his lips. Mihashi was partly correct – _partly_. If Mihashi thought that baseball would remind Kanō of _that _memory, then it was probably true the other way around. Mihashi also remembered _it_, felt the ugly experience all over again. But only half of the statement was true. The fact that made Kanō recall that dreadful incident was the _guilt_ that nestled on his heart. It was the feeling of shame that admonished him. Kanō always felt that it was his fault that _it _happened to Ren. It was the feeling of blame that made Kanō's mind repeatedly play _that_ memory again and again. It would never leave him. _Never_.

"I don't want to feel sad," it was Kanō's answer. "And I don't want to make you feel sad either," he added as he looked at Mihashi's eyes – eyes that would never _see_ him again.

It had never been told to many – only a real few knew about it – about the condition that Mihashi Ren now suffered. It had never been declared that when Mihashi left their middle school, Mihoshi, he was already _blind_. Kanō and some others knew about it, of course.

Because he had always believed, from that point on, that the cause of Mihashi's blindness was Kanō _himself_.

**. . . . . . . . .**

"We've got _two _more!"

The female's excited voice drowned the field. Some of the students who heard her turned their eyes from where she appeared. They saw that she dragged with her two more students wearing the official school uniform – black, long-sleeved shirts with pairing pants – on that unusually sweltering spring afternoon. One of them had a serious countenance, with a short dark-brown hair that identified his appearance. The other one was blond, but the odd look he gave with his silvery orbs created a distant impression. Nevertheless, they both looked nervous.

The female with the _robust_ size for a chest took out a small blue notebook from her pocket. At that second, the blond one began to fret almost uncontrollably. The one with the auburn locks looked worriedly at the other boy, but did not do anything in particular to soothe his companion, which made the others think that it was a common happenstance. The woman seemed to have ignored the strange quirk, probably because of her enthusiasm upon hoarding two more students, and instead went on with the recruitment. She gave them a wide grin when she asked, "What's your name?"

"M-M-Mi…Mi…Mi—"

"He's _Mihashi_," Kanō pointed his finger at his friend first, before he placed it to himself. "I'm _Kanō_." The female was still so joyous at to that point that she remained oblivious of the eye contact shared between the two males.

_Shū-chan?_ Mihashi asked in thought, yet he hoped that his friend understood him. _You're the only one who should join the club… not me_, he continued to state in his mind, clearly confused as to why Kanō had introduced him as well. But Mihashi did not see the look of determination that adorned his friend's face.

"What's your position?" The woman who had the chocolate-colored hair leaned forward towards the two, with the smile that anticipated for their answers. Mihashi only gave a tired sigh, knowing that Kanō would just answer for him. Even if he was still half-hearted about joining the baseball club, Kanō would still push him to enter without any reservations. At least, Mihashi thought in consideration, that the two of them shared the same degree of _stubbornness_ when it comes to baseball. He _pretended_ to look at Kanō by looking at where he _felt_ his friend stood. He closely followed everyone's voices.

"Pitcher," Kanō clearly answered, the finger that he used some seconds ago still directed at him. The female seemed to appear more delighted upon hearing the response. Slowly, Kanō's finger travelled back to Mihashi. "And he's a pitcher," he added.

"Oh?" The female looked too happy and stunned at the same time. "_Two _pitchers?" She sounded slightly doubtful but it was evident that she could not simply contain her excitement. "We have two pitchers who joined at the same time?" She maintained. "We finally have some pitchers!" She announced, which definitely made Kanō and Mihashi looked confused.

"We only have first years." She said. "This is our first year as a regulation-ball club. I'm an alum from our rubber-ball era, here to coach this club." She brushed her long locks from her face. "My name is _Momoe Maria_. I'm not a teacher here." She sent a gaze at the roofed bench. "So this is our supervising teacher, _Shiga_-sensei." Kanō looked at the spectacled man watching from not too far. "And my dog, in the midst of his walk," His gaze then dropped at the said animal which slept on Shiga-sensei's lap. She reopened her note once more.

"Now that we have the pitchers we are looking for, why don't we check all your positions first?" Momoe-san informed them. "After the pitcher, it's the catcher… and that will be, _Abe_-kun—"

Mihashi's stuttered voice attracted Kanō's attention away from the roll call. He showed an inquisitive expression to Mihashi but remembering that he couldn't truly see him at all, Kanō muttered a soft '_why?_' to his friend. Kanō noticed the apparent reluctance that shrouded Mihashi's form, but both he and his friend had decided something about this long before they enrolled themselves to the school. Kanō waited for Mihashi to speak.

"Shū-ch… Kanō-kun–" Kanō was upset that Mihashi shifted to a formal name-calling, but he understood that it was merely for the sake of first-meeting decorum "–are… you sure that… i-i-it's fine for me… to join?" Mihashi asked with a question which Kanō anticipated.

"Mihashi, we've talked about this before," he did want to sound like he was complaining about his friend's unwillingness, but it won't be the best time to chide Mihashi. "I told you before that you are a really good pitcher. You are even better than me in pitching," he reminded the blond. _Better than me_, he repeated in his mind.

"T-T-That's not true!" Mihashi responded, cheeks already flushing pink. "Kanō-kun really deserved the ace position for Mihoshi!" The blond pointed out, which yet again made Kanō felt guilty. It was still clear that Mihashi admired his friend in terms of pitching; Kanō knew that from before. But it was obvious that Mihashi was just underestimating himself. Kanō knew _better_. Mihashi was truly worthy of the ace position. That was why he shouldn't have been—  
Kanō shut his eyes tight. He felt the _horror_ again. He clearly remembered the incident back at Mihoshi Academy. He shouldn't… he shouldn't…

Both Mihashi and Kanō sent their heads to the source of the crisp sound of a bat hitting a ball. Kanō stared in awe when Momoe-san, the self-proclaimed Nishiura's coach, hit in a perpendicular shot. The ball went up high and came back in descent in a straight line. The catcher caught it easily, with the ball landing perfectly onto his mitt. After the spectacle, Kanō returned his gaze back at Mihashi who only looked ahead but was really unaware of what happened. "The coach hit with a perpendicular ball," he muttered softly at Mihashi.

"Really?!" Mihashi sounded excited. "That's amazing!"

"The catcher looks tough too," Kanō added.

Mihashi nervously perked up with the word 'catcher.' "I-I-I wonder if—"

"_Nishiura_ and Mihoshi are different schools," Kanō stated and he felt that he might have sounded a little bit aggressive. He easily noticed how Mihashi shrunk at the tone of his voice. Kanō looked away from Mihashi for a second, before he refaced him again. "I'm sorry," he apologized as soon. "I'm just trying to tell you that we can have a new start in here," he explained in a much calmer voice. "In here wherein you can prove your true skills,"

But even before Mihashi replied, he heard some footsteps that drew near them. Mihashi's hearing was far more sensitive than before, and he caught up the other person's approach before Kanō could even see. Mihashi's head movement directed Kanō to follow the former and he was mildly surprised to see that the catcher already stood in front of them. Even with the thin smile upon the catcher's lips, Kanō easily deducted that the guy was serious and calculating. He did not know if Mihashi shared the same thought but he kept his mouth shut at first.

"Mihashi, Kanō," Abe, the catcher, called out their names. "Would you pitch a little bit?" He asked the two as he raised a ball in front of him.

Kanō regarded Abe for a second before he glanced at his childhood friend. "Mihashi will pitch for you," he stated, to Mihashi's surprise.

Mihashi did not see – he could _not_ – Abe's gaze fell against him. He was just so surprised that Kanō had pushed him to show his pitching skills first. _But Shū-chan's a more… capable pitcher_, he reasoned and looked at the spot where he last _heard_ Kanō's voice.

Even if Mihashi's expression was uncertain, Kanō just ignored it. If there was the perfect moment to introduce Mihashi as a really skilled pitcher, then it was that exact minute. Perhaps his friend just needed a little pushing, Kanō did suppose. He and Abe only waited for Mihashi to respond.

"I… I… I really… shouldn't." Mihashi finally replied, to Abe and even to Kanō's surprise. But Mihashi did not see them. _Shū-chan's doing this for my sake. _He stated in thought. _I… know Shū-chan deserves to be a pitcher. I ruined three years of his middle school because he couldn't be an ace pitcher. _He reasoned in his head. _If there is… someone out here who can become a… great pitcher, then I know it is Shū-chan. _Tears suddenly brimmed on the edges of his eyes. _I want to pitch. But Shū-chan deserves it more than I_. The tears ran down to his cheeks.

"Did I say something to make him cry?" Abe inquired, troubled about Mihashi's sudden change of emotion.

"That's not it," surprisingly, it was Kanō who answered for him. "He thinks it's meaningless for him to pitch." He added, making Abe look at him confusedly. "Mihashi," Kanō called his friend. Mihashi looked at him. "If you say that your pitches are slow, I'm seriously going to _hit_ you!" He warned his blond friend.

Mihashi obviously flinched upon hearing Kanō's hostile remark. Abe and the first year nearest to him, by the name of Izumi, traded glances with one another, seemingly bewildered with the strange interaction. "I don't have any unreasonable expectations but–" Abe had turned his gaze back at Kanō "–was he a reserve?"

"No," Kanō answered, with an undertone of _pride_ that laced his tone. "He was a regular, back at where we came from." He explained to Abe. "Both of us came from Mihoshi Academy, from Gunma," Kanō shared to them. They were surprised to discover that the two pitchers were like legionnaires from some foreign country, unexpectedly invading their home turf – so as the boisterous Tajima was concerned.

"Oh shut up!" The one who had retorted to Momoe-san earlier, Hanai, suddenly blurted out. "You were the ace, right?" He looked narrowly at Mihashi. "You were the best on the team, right? Don't brag in such a roundabout way!" He told the blond, clearly aggravated by the way Mihashi presented himself.

However, Kanō seemed to have taken Hanai's remark negatively. He planted himself between Mihashi and the tall first year, glaring at the latter with a belligerent look. Hanai was not insensible of the antagonistic stare now given to him by the other teen. It was easy to conclude that Mihashi and Kanō were friends, supported by the fact that they knew each other. But Hanai only felt aggravated by Mihashi's oblique verbalizations; he had totally nothing against the blond boy. After all, it was just the first time that they'd met. Hanai was not the one who judged others based on a single interaction alone.

Kanō began to speak. "You don—"

"If I was there…" Mihashi's tears welled over his eyes again and, that time, he suddenly squat down to the ground. Kanō looked back at him with surprise. "I'd get to be the ace because of favoritism." The blond explained, but he refused to look at the face of the people around him. "My… grandfather… is the owner of the… school." He added. Kanō's eyes were wide in shock, but the other first year appeared enlightened. However, Abe did not let any emotion struck his impassive expression out.

"Just because you're the grandson of the owner, they let you be the ace?" Abe mentioned, his words stern but did not give out any semblance of sarcasm. "What a terrible school," he just commented, still looking at the anxious and teary-eyed Mihashi.

Kanō knew about it, of course, since he was Mihashi's teammate back at their previous academy. But it was just one side of the whole story, a side that he would never even accept as true. After all those years, Mihashi did think that he was only seen as an ace because of '_favoritism_.' It told him how his friend _devalued_ himself, it told him how much damage Mihashi endured when they were still in middle school. He wanted to deny those words from Mihashi, but Kanō could not even speak straight, still startled with Mihashi's sudden declarations. Those were lies, but even if he knew it, Kanō could not protect Mihashi.

"It's not the coach's fault." But Mihashi continued to speak. "I could've turned it down myself, or I could have quit the club." The blond's body shook as he persisted on covering his head and face. "I should have. But I refuse to hand the mound for three years. Because of me, nobody could enjoy playing baseball… Kanō-kun too." They looked at boy in question, but Kanō was too focused on Mihashi to have noticed them. "We lost because of me."

"You really are annoying." Abe said aloud. Mihashi whipped his head at the catcher, although he just tried to follow where Abe's voice came from. Kanō even took the effort to look at the other teen. "Unwilling to hand over the mound? That's a strength for a pitcher."

_A strength?_ Kanō placed the word in his head. Suddenly, all the years that he and Mihashi spent together in playing baseball appeared in his mind. Even though Mihashi would state how he admired Kanō outright, Kanō also looked up at Mihashi as a great pitcher. Yes, even if the other players looked down at Mihashi, his faith towards Mihashi would never waver. They did not know the skill Mihashi possessed; they did not know how great Mihashi truly was. He looked at Abe for another time and he felt a strange feeling of acknowledgement towards the teen. In some other sense, Abe was correct. Mihashi never gave up the mound to other people. He never stopped pitching.

It was one of the qualities that made Mihashi remarkable.

"Though it made you an unlikeable guy," Abe continued to speak, "but I like that in a pitcher,"

Even if it was a small indication, Kanō felt that going to Nishiura was already a good choice _for_ Mihashi.

* * *

Before the practice pitches began, Kanō asked Abe to knock his mitt with his gloved hand hard before they started to throw and catch the pitches. Abe looked curious enough to bring about a question, but catcher restrained himself at the last seconds, when Kanō told him that it was one way of powering up Mihashi before the practice.

But Kanō understood that he barely escaped from the eyes of the catcher. There was no denying that Abe had started to focus his attention to the two pitchers who hailed from the distant school of Mihoshi. Kanō promised Mihashi that he would make him enjoy playing baseball after they left Mihoshi, and the only way for that to be true was to _conceal_ the fact about Mihashi's eyesight. Nobody must know that Mihashi was _blind_ – had been _blinded_ –, because it might bring complication that would prevent him from playing.

Kanō shuddered at the thought. He could not think of a Mihashi that didn't play baseball. He had always thought that Mihashi belonged to baseball, that it was his second lifeblood. If baseball was taken away from Mihashi, Kanō could not even imagine the devastation and agony that Mihashi would feel. Things needed not to reach that point. It was the conviction that drove him to promise happiness for Mihashi. Kanō would protect his friend, his friend that had been so broken before, who had barely recovered from the past. He and Mihashi would play baseball as long as they breathed.

He was pulled out from his thoughts when he heard the sharp sound that resonated from Abe's mitts. Kanō's eyes quickly darted to the mound where Mihashi now stood. The sound definitely caught Mihashi's attention; the blond adjusted himself and looked forward towards the catcher. But Kanō knew that it was only an act to make other people believe that he did looked ahead. Mihashi could not even see where Abe was; the only thing that told him that the catcher was there was the sound that Abe created.

Yes. Mihashi only relied on the _sounds_ around him.

Kanō discovered that Mihashi's earing gained much sensitivity after he lost his sight. The first week was extremely unpleasant for Mihashi, since his ears picked up a lot of noise and made him uncomfortable. Even the softest of voices were enough to startle him. But both of them knew that if Mihashi was to continue playing baseball, they needed to take advantage of this fact. Little by little, Mihashi and Kanō practiced on how the blond would be able to use the skill in playing baseball. It had reached a point wherein Mihashi could identify the things around him because of the echo that bounded from objects.

_Echolocation_, Kanō searched it once on the internet. It was the pattern used by dolphins and bats to travel around and identify their paths. It seemed that Mihashi's hearing had been more pronounced to support the lack of his senses. Because of this, Mihashi could sense the ball around him because he could hear the sound that bounced from it. Even though without his sight, Mihashi could still perfectly locate everything in front of him, even those which were behind him. In fact, Kanō discovered that Mihashi gained a three-hundred and sixty degree vision that he possessed _alone_.

Without visual distraction, Mihashi could pitch more accurately and more precisely – a skill that was truly magnificent. As long as Mihashi had identified where his catcher was, he could pitch towards whatever location he wanted, for how long he wanted to.

_Show them your true skill, Mihashi_, Kanō stated in thought as he watched his blond friend throw his first pitch. _Show them that you are more than who you appear you are_, he added with a smile as he saw the looked of amazement that Abe wore when he received the first throw from Mihashi.

_Show them who the real ace pitcher is!_

* * *

_- _**Chapter End** -


	2. Forming the battery

**Chapter 2  
**_**Forming the battery**_

* * *

_Four breaking pitches_, Abe listed them in his head after he listened to Mihashi's explanation. He easily noticed the lack of proper terminology of the different throws; Mihashi only had them described by hand gestures. So it was probably enough to verify that the blond did not have any coach that taught him to pitch. He placed his hand under his chin as he observed the flustered expression sported by Mihashi. Somehow, Abe felt slightly disconcerted with the long and unblinking stare that Mihashi gave. His silvery irises felt oddly _cold_ even for him.

"I see." He remarked at first, the pieces of the puzzle gradually settling in his mind. His pupils darted to side as he saw Kanō who stood not too far. He was still baffled as to why the other pitcher kept a cursory look over him, as if Kanō appeared overly cautious. "That makes sense," he only muttered next. He turned back to the blond pitcher. "Mihashi, let's set up some signs," Abe saw how Mihashi flapped at his words. Pitchers seemed to have their own idiosyncratic ways; Abe thought that it would be best to let it slide away first.

"Wait a minute," Kanō entered the dialogue. Mihashi turned a solaced look at the other pitcher, while Abe only sent an inquisitive stare. The questions were beginning to pile up inside him, Abe deduced. About the certain intrusion, Abe would not know, but he already decided that those little quirks presented him _something_. "Mihashi's not particularly well yesterday," Kanō voiced out. "I know you want to test him out," he added, much to Abe's amusement, "but I don't think Mihashi would play best if we put him out in a trial play right now." He explained. Abe turned to Mihashi.

"I-I-I'm fine, Kanō-kun," and he sounded more perplexed than Abe was curious to the pitchers. "I'm fine… even yester—"

"That is what you always say, Mihashi," Kanō retorted and Abe realized that Kanō was annoyed by Mihashi's contradiction. From how Kanō's brows furrowed, Abe assumed that the pitcher was trying to recommend Mihashi a break, but the blond did not understand what he wanted.

"So you're thinking that it's not good for Mihashi to pitch if he's not in his best form?" Abe assumed, even though his guess was partially correct. _And what else are you thinking_? Abe asked in thought.

"I'll admit that Mihashi is a really good pitcher," Kanō said at first. "But, as a pitcher, I know well that it's not desirable to pitch lousily," he explained his point. Kanō paused for a while, looking deeply at Abe's grayish dark eyes. "Even a catcher knows that,"

_Yes, that's right_, Abe mentally said, slightly pleased that the other pitcher sounded very reasonable. _Since they know each other, perhaps I can believe that Mihashi's not in his perfect form_. He concluded. _But, even so, Mihashi's pitches are still really amazing_, he added, giving a brief peek back at Mihashi.

"What do you pitch?" Abe now focused his attention at the other pitcher. "So you were the _reserve_?" He saw Kanō nod at him.

"I'm not really far behind Mihashi," Kanō answered. "Mihashi's control is out of this world." He pointed out. "I know you really wanted to test his skills out, but I won't want him to pitch if he's not in his best." Abe understood that. Kanō continued. "But you won't be disappointed with Mihashi, I tell you." Abe saw how Mihashi frowned at Kanō's pronouncement. It seemed that there was a history behind these two, Abe felt.

"My pitches are faster than Mihashi's," Kanō explained. "But perhaps it'll be better if I show you than explain to you, right?" Kanō asked. "Abe, I know that you have already a plan in mind," Abe was slightly surprised that this other pitcher seemed to have noticed. _So I'm not the only one who's looking far out_, Abe thought. True, he gave particular interest to the pitcher duo, but it only seemed that he had invited their attention to him as well. While Mihashi seemed apprehensive, Kanō was particularly wary and observant. _I wonder how these two opposites go along with each other._

"Hanai," Abe turned to the tallest teen. Kanō followed his gaze.

"What is it?" The teen answered, hands behind his head.

"Can you get in the batter's box?"

"Sorry," Hanai replied. "I'm not joining the club, after all." He dropped his hands and spun behind. He started to walk away from them when Abe continued to speak.

"You were a cleanup hitter, right?" Abe's expression was frisky, something Kanō noticed. "Let's have a three at-bat game," three fingers were then flashed towards Hanai.

"A game?" Hanai twisted his head back.

Abe only gave out a smirk. "Can we get just the infielders in?"

"Just infielders?" Hanai retorted, easily discerning the subliminal hint Abe just sent. "So you don't like it that I'm not joining the club?" He assumed, aware of the marked challenge Abe just issued. He was not going down, Hanai thought. "But are you sure about that?" Hanai dared back. "It looks like I'm going to hit a big one."

"If you could actually hit a big one, I'd beg you to join us." Abe finally dropped the bomb against Hanai. Kanō felt laughing at that point, but he'd just probably set off a different effect if he did.

Ignoring the furious reaction from Hanai, Abe asked Mihashi and Kanō to follow him to the field's dugout. Kanō clapped Mihashi by his shoulder and guided his blond friend just behind Abe's footsteps. But they were oblivious of the hidden stares Abe gave them as they moved on. _There's something definitely going on between these two_, Abe placed in his mind once again. _Right now I don't have any idea, but if it affects their pitching, then it's definitely something I must know_, he placated himself, in order to concentrate first at the incoming trial game.

"You intentionally provoked him," Kanō spoke up and he didn't need to specify to whom he had directed his words. "You stirred him up so his focus would be _edgy_,"

"Let's just say that it's part of the plan," Abe replied. He wondered if Kanō was truly as observant as he appeared, and if he was such a deep thinker as he sounded. "Or should I say I also intentionally _up_-ed his focus so that I could change his mind." He added. "He was a cleanup batter, so I think it's important if he joins the club."

The trio finally reached the dugout. Abe sat at the edge of the nearest bench and watched how Mihashi managed to trip himself when he strode against the seat's foot. Kanō was quick to reprimand the blond; Mihashi apologized as soon. _His eyes are wide open_, Abe thought, _it's impossible to miss the bench in front of him_. He only watched as Kanō forced Mihashi on the bench. Kanō remained on his feet, with his arms folded in front of his chest. "You're going to learn the signs we used?" Kanō rose.

"_Aa_," Abe answered absentmindedly. "_Ano_, Kanō, I'm just wondering if Mihashi really can't play this one," the catcher put up what was in his mind. Kanō obviously flinched upon hearing it, a sign that Abe observed and took note of. _I knew it_, he mentally said. _Kanō doesn't want Mihashi to pitch in a practice trial_, he speculated.

"A-A-Abe-kun…" It was Mihashi who spoke next. "Kanō-kun… he's worried for… me." He stated, which piqued up Abe's attention more. Abe observed how Mihashi looked straight at him. Just like he noticed earlier, the blond tended to look directly at the person he spoke with. But the intensity of his gaze was a little bit unnerving. But as Abe continued to watch Mihashi's stare, there was a little thought that sprouted within him. _It's not like he's looking straightaway_, he supposed. _It's more like he's looking _far away_ from me_, he concluded. _He's like looking pass _through_ me_.

"Why? Is there something wrong with you?" Abe asked and he was amazed with the synchronous comical expression that Kanō and Mihashi showed.

"No, no, no," Kanō waved his hands frantically. "There's nothing wrong." He said, as he awkwardly scratched his cheek. "I'm just really worried that Mihashi has been really sloppy these weeks." He shared. "We haven't really played baseball for a while,"

"Sloppy?" Abe repeated the word. "I don't find his pitches sloppy." He told Kanō. Honestly, Abe wondered about the remarkable control Mihashi had. Even though the pitches were slow, it was patched up with Mihashi's amazing control of the ball. _But it's not clearly the point_, Abe added in thought. There was something that Kanō was trying to _hide_. "Kanō, you're a pitcher too, right?" Abe said. "But you are not intimidated by the fact that I'm zeroing Mihashi as the pitcher of the team," he stated his observation.

Kanō tensed up. _Bingo_, Abe remarked. _I did not notice it earlier, but even Kanō encouraged Mihashi to become the pitcher for the team_. Abe looked at the strained expression Kanō now made. "Do you see Mihashi as a better pitcher?" _Do you see yourself as inferior to Mihashi?_ The second question only remained in his thought. He did not want to infer, but it was one of possible reason for Kanō to push Mihashi as the pitcher. It was now apparent that there was a lingering tension between the two, a hidden fact shared by the duo of pitchers.

"N-N-No… Kanō-kun… is a good… pitcher," Mihashi told him. For another time, tears welled upon his eyes. Abe now confirmed that the blond had an extremely low level of confidence, as if his personality had been broken down – that he seemed to feel that he was a _failure_. "Kanō-kun respects my decision… I won't leave… the mound… I don't want to give up the mound." Mihashi's tears ran down over his face again. Abe was silent for that second. Normally, he would have asked Mihashi to stop crying, but there was a deeper reason for those tears.

_If Mihashi thinks he's selfish, then I can see Kanō as a _selfless_ pitcher_, Abe slowly turned to Kanō. _Even if he's a pitcher, he doesn't make a great deal about Mihashi monopolizing the mound,_ Abe thought. _But Kanō even wants for Mihashi to pitch for the team_, his brows met together with that idea in his head. Of course he couldn't understand at first. Abe just knew that there was an underlying reason for the strange interaction between the two pitchers. However, Abe recognized that it made the pitchers reluctant about themselves. Just for now, he needed a confirmation.

"Kanō—"

"I'm not intimidated," Kanō spoke, cutting Abe off. The former tried his best to look away from the catcher. "I'm only thinking what's best for the team. Mihashi and I are both pitchers – that's true – but I'm already admitting that it will be best if we have Mihashi as the team's regular pitcher." He stated. "I already know Mihashi's skill, so I don't have to complain. I have long acknowledged his skill, so there is no reason for me to feel intimidated." He added. Abe saw how Kanō looked sadly at Mihashi. "And there is something I want Mihashi to prove,"

_But you sound that you are looking down at yourself_, Abe could not stop from commenting. It was fairly obvious that Kanō was hurting. Mihashi seemed unmindful, but Abe didn't know if the blond was pretending not to care or he had heard the same lines before that he didn't know how to respond to it anymore. "And what is that?" Abe was only able to ask. It was enough for him to understand the subliminal statements thrown below their conversation, but Abe felt that he was still a stranger to intrude with the two pitchers' dilemma.

"Mihashi is not an ace because of _favoritism_," Kanō said.

Something clicked inside his head. Abe's eyes were round in realization. It was not that Kanō was merely looking down at himself. Kanō might have felt that way, but it was only second to what he truly wished. Even Kanō recognized how Mihashi undervalued himself and he now knew that Kanō pushed the blond because it was one of the ways to prove that Mihashi was not really a pushover, a fake ace. _So Kanō only want to make Mihashi feel that he can be a real ace_, Abe finally comprehended. Turning back to the blond in question, Abe muttered soon,

"Mihashi," Abe called out the blond's name in stern but supportive tone. "I'll make you a true ace." The catcher saw the surprised expression that was etched upon the pitcher's face. "In exchange, pitch the way I tell you to. I hate pitchers who shake my signs off." And then the trio was silent. Mihashi only looked shocked upon hearing those words from Abe, but Kanō was torn between two emotions – one that was surprised and one that was extremely _happy_. Abe just noted all of it, not once commenting on the strange reactions they gave him.

"Alright," Kanō finally broke the silence off. "I'll let Mihashi pitch for this one." He announced. Abe looked at him incredulously at first, before he traded a grateful expression to the pitcher. "I'll teach the signs that I and Mihashi used back in Mihoshi. "Make sure that you remember them _well_," he added. Abe then learned the signs that the two pitchers used. But, at the back of his mind, he still wondered as to why Kanō took the initiative for the things that were related to Mihashi. It really made the impression that Kanō was trying to hide a secret from them.

**. . . . . . . . .**

"Mihashi can locate his pitches in ways that even pros can't." Abe now explained the wonder that was Mihashi's pitches, after they were able to struck Hanai out. It was amusing as to how Hanai felt baffled with the pitches thrown against him; Abe felt ever-confident because of it. "If we use that well, quite frankly, we can get any number of outs from Hanai." He continued to expound. If Abe was correct, the root of the problem was Mihashi's lack of confidence. He just needed to correct that. Abe then approached the blond pitcher.

"Mihashi, you definitely have enough appeal as a pitcher." He told the blond. Abe just needed to affirm that Mihashi could do the task as pitcher. With Mihashi, he was sure that he could strike out any batter.

"Um… I-I… think you're the amazing one, Abe-kun." The teen with the silver irises suddenly spoke back, which mildly surprised the catcher in front of him. Abe regarded him for some seconds, trying to form the meaning behind those words shed towards him. With a thin smile forming on his lips, Abe did know what.

_He understands well_, he kept on looking at the blond. _Without me calling the pitches, you're just a pitcher who throws slow balls_, he said in thought. It was better that way. Abe had doubted Mihashi at first when they started the trial game, but he felt really satisfied when the blond pitched the way Abe told him. _Just remember how powerless you are_, he added. Abe knew himself that his game-calling did have some risk, but when he noted that Mihashi had also taken the risky path, he knew that Mihashi would not simply shake him off.

_For the next three years, you're going to pitch the way I tell you to_, he maintained in his head, before he stepped towards Mihashi's side. He placed an affectionate hand over the blond's shoulder. "He's going to become a pitcher who can get any kind of hitter out." He said aloud. "Now, if we have the fielders that can catch the ball and hitters that can score one run we can go to the _Koushien_." Abe told them as a positive remark. It would be good if he lightened their moods right now – it was always the best start.

_But the other pitcher_, Abe looked at Kanō, who also observed him from afar. _I don't think that he'll be as complacent as Mihashi is_, he supposed. He had learned from their interaction that Kanō was not as simple-minded as Mihashi was. He was observant and perceptive as well. He might even be as skillful as Mihashi was. But Abe was slightly wary of the other teen. Now two people had the knowledge of what made Mihashi reluctant to play – Abe and Kanō. Abe understood that they had the capability to influence Mihashi right then and on and he knew it might give rise to a problem.

_Mihashi's obedience is a great value for my pitch-calling_, Abe reasoned, as he watched the team crowd Mihashi for verbalizing his uncertainty about Koushien. _But I don't think Kanō would be totally compliant about how I call the game_, he thought. It was clear that there were some hints of Kanō's overprotectiveness of Mihashi. Abe pondered if it would affect the battery in that manner. Mihashi even realized his own weakness, but Kanō was totally against the self-pity Mihashi had for himself. Perhaps Abe was trying to capitalize on Mihashi's personality, but he also only wished for the blond's own good.

_This is just the first day, after all_, Abe finally concluded. It was too much to think so far ahead for their first meeting. It was not about being careless, but Abe had to gauge the pitchers first. _It would just be for the sake of the team, for the sake of winning_, Abe reasoned. But there was one thing sure for that day: when he said he'd make Mihashi a true ace, Abe stated that in the belief that Mihashi could really become _one_. It was not an empty promise. Abe knew it would come true.

* * *

"You really did well today, Ren." Kanō commented as he watched his friend ran his hand over the metal fence that outlined the whole field. The two of them had remained in the area after the baseball club finished the meeting. They were allowed by Momoe-san to stay, with the reason that they would survey the area. After all, it was the first time that Kanō and Mihashi had reached the field. Kanō observed how Mihashi's cheeks burned red after being complimented. The blond's lips parted open then shut close repeatedly, obviously failing to word out his thoughts.

Kanō only chuckled. "Have you finally _memorized_ the field's area?" He asked Mihashi when the blond dropped his hands to his side. Aside from his sense of hearing, Mihashi's sense of touch also improved considerably when he became blind. It was one his ways to memorize things and places aside from relying to his hearing alone.

"Yes… the outfield's… grassy," Mihashi responded, trying to remember the sensation he felt when he and Kanō reached that spot a while ago. "Shū-chan… Abe-kun's game calls are… amazing." He suddenly switched the topic. Kanō nodded, even though he knew Mihashi won't see it.

"I know." But Kanō looked bitter. "By the way, you didn't get confused when Abe gave you the signs, Ren?" He asked. "I don't know if he memorized our signs, so I was wondering if the sounds his hands made distracted you." He said.

"No… I'm already familiar with our signs…" As he said that, Mihashi gestured them with his right hand. "The sounds made by Abe-kun were almost similar with how you do it." He told the other teen. "So… that was the reason why you told Abe-kun to… remember the signs well." Mihashi finally realized.

"Yes," Kanō responded. If pitching was tricky enough, the catcher's call was even harder. Mihashi only relied on the sound of the air around the catcher's hand when he made the signs. By memorizing the sound patterns for different pitches, Mihashi could identify the particular throw that the catcher wanted. But since it was the first time that the pitchers and the catcher had met, Kanō knew well that it would be tough for Mihashi. "I'm glad that he took the signs really seriously," Kanō sighed in relief. "I'm really worried because I felt that he's really suspicious."

"S-S-Suspicious?" Mihashi sounded worried. "Shū-chan, you're not referring about my…"

"I think he's been looking out to you for a while lately," Kanō exhaled uneasily. "Even though you already perfected 'looking' at the person you are talking to, I think the catcher's looking out differently at you." He shared. Kanō felt something wrong as soon. He sent a narrowed look at Mihashi. "Ren, you were _blinking _back then, weren't you?" He shot the question off.

Mihashi appeared stunned. "I-I-I forgot to… _blink_!" The blond suddenly acted restless. He cocked his head around as if he did not have a single thing to focus to. His mouth also varied into different shapes.

Kanō cupped his cheeks as he released a tired sigh. "You should always be conscious of these things, Ren." He looked at the blond who seemed like going into a breakdown.

"I-I-I'm… sorry…" Mihashi's eyes glistened with tears.

"Just forget about it," Kanō dismissed. "Next time, make sure that you are going to act normal, especially with your eyes." He berated Mihashi with a toned down voice. "Abe is very observant. I caught him looking at me too for many times lately. To be honest, I don't know what's going on with his mind."

"So… we must not go… near Abe-kun," Mihashi suggested.

"We can't do that!" Kanō responded. Mihashi shrunk in size. "He's your pitcher now, Ren. In Nishiura, you are going to form a battery that will make you a real ace." He said, remembering the words that came out of Abe's mouth. "You heard him say that, right? I know you are happy that someone finally told you that, Ren." Kanō said. "I don't want to let go of this opportunity. I want you to pitch with the best ability you have." He added. He was glad that Mihashi couldn't see him right now.

Kanō's tears already flowed from his eyes, but he kept his voice strong so that Mihashi would not think that he was crying already. Even if Abe appeared to be always scheming, Kanō also realized that Abe could help Mihashi out. The catcher sounded so serious and mature. Even though he hadn't fully trusted him yet, Kanō gave Abe the chance to make Mihashi feel happy about his pitching. He wiped his tears from his eyes. "I will protect you, Ren. And if this battery can make you be the best, then I will protect this battery for you," he added.

"Shū-chan…"

"Don't worry too much," Kanō smiled, and that time he felt bad that Mihashi couldn't see him. "The only thing we have to do now is to make sure no one discovers that you have lost your sight." Kanō assured the blond. "In that way, Abe will continue catching for you. In that way, you can grow more to become Nishiura's real ace pitcher." He told him. "We will realize _our _dreams here in Nishiura."

* * *

Shino'oka Chiyo was appointed as the team's manager after the club had been finally completed. Her first task was not too menial, but she also made sure that it would complete and perfect. Momoe-san had asked her to form a complete profile for each of the players of the baseball club.

Nevertheless, she took a brief break when she came across a particular information Momoe-san had given her from the faculty before she went home. She had finished five profiles that time, and now she bore a certain attention to the data on her hand. The details belonged to Mihashi, one of the two pitchers who joined the club.

But it weren't the specific details that attracted her interest. Shino'oka was focused on the picture that was pasted on right-upper corner of the paper she held. It was a photo that belonged to Mihashi, but it was taken from the time when he was still in middle school. She wondered about a certain detail that boggled her mind.

In the picture, Mihashi had a matching color of hair and irises – the warm color of _gold_.

_But,_ Shino'oka thought, _isn't Mihashi's eyes silver in color?_

* * *

- **Chapter End** -

**Post-chapter note**: Mihashi's eyes is seen in the cover.


	3. Conflicting Signs

**Chapter 3  
**_**Conflicting Signs**_

* * *

As Momokan told them, the baseball club would use the Golden Week to hold out a training camp. With the boys from the team, the club had to ride in a bus to travel to the location and—

"_I forgot to masturbate yesterday!_"

Hanai and Abe heard him clearly, but they chose to keep their comments zipped inside their mouth. It appeared that Tajima's unruly personality spanned from his daily routines to his manner of speech. If they'd been the only people inside that bus, most of the boys would have ignored the boy's loud declaration. In fact, they would have given their shares about it and laugh away. But they were in a public vehicle, with their _female _manager no less. Hanai and Abe only groaned inwardly as they heard how Tajima was gagged down by their teammates.

_I know one week is too long enough to wait to 'get off'_, Hanai mentally remarked as he turned his head slightly to the ruckus behind them. _But there's a limit on when and where you should do 'it'!_ He wanted to chide Tajima, but he was still slightly bothered about some other things concerning the teen. Knowing that Abe kept his ears open, Hanai just let the words come out from his lips. "Was he really a strong cleanup hitter?" By that time, his eyes had shifted from Tajima to the view he saw through the window.

"Yep." Abe's deep voice replied soon. "Confirmed it myself," Hanai heard him, and his thought moved partly from Tajima to what happened two weeks ago.

"That three at-bat challenge," Hanai now raised, "the reason you dogged Tajima and chose me–" he closed his eyes for some seconds as he refreshed himself with the deduction he formed a few days ago "–was because you knew it would work on me, wasn't it?" He flicked his head to Abe's direction, with the intent to watch how the latter would react. It was good that he understood what happened, but Hanai still felt minutely displeased because of it.

Abe looked at him for a while – Hanai was just so sure that the other teen was trying to think of the most _neutral_ answer – before he stated his reply. "Well, um… I thought you're talented too, Hanai." Abe was only able to say.

Hanai just looked at him incredulously, his eyes remarkably showing how he felt so jeered at. Even so, what happened had happened; Hanai was just glad that he half-understood why Abe did that. "You don't intend to console me, do you?" He only added, as he dropped his head forward.

"Abe," a voice attracted the teen's attention. Abe only looked at their adviser, Shiga-sensei – now nicknamed _Shiga-po_ by the team –, as he handed him a piece of what seemed to be a medicine still wrapped in the foil. "I heard Mihashi isn't feeling good." He started. "Give him this medicine and check on him."

"Uh?" Abe's brows furrowed slightly. "Why me?" _Isn't that Kanō always with him?_ He added as an afterthought, but turned his head all the way at the back of the bus. He saw a dazed-looking Mihashi – with eyes seemingly wide open and would wobble once a while – and did not miss Kanō as well. However, it seemed that the other pitcher was knocked out and slept deeply – even the curves and bumps would not even wake him up. _That's why_, he mentally remarked.

A huge grin suddenly formed over Shiga-po's face. "I'm not all that knowledgeable about baseball, but I hear the battery is one in both body and spirit, right?" The smirk intensified when Abe focused back to their club's adviser. "Go look after your pitcher!" Shiga-po slapped the small medicine pack into Abe's hand while still sporting the obviously annoying grin.

_There's no way I can be in 'one mind and body' with a guy I met two weeks ago_, Abe thought as he padded to the back of the bus, using the railings to balance himself. He also wondered just how people with motion sickness tolerated long rides. When he felt ill, he often slept it off during the travel and would wake up fine and well. He stopped and looked at Mihashi's expression for a while. _Besides, will there ever be a day that I'll be on such friendly terms with Mihashi? _He added as he squeezed the medicine in his hand.

He took a peek at Kanō who sat by the other side of the bus. Now that he was merely inches from the two pitchers, Abe could probably say that the two did not look too good. Even in his sleep, Kanō's face twisted in a frown, almost telling Abe that he was in discomfort. However, Mihashi's appearance was more worrisome that his pitcher friend. His mouth flapped open as if he was trying to say something, though his eyes flared open, directed straightly to the front. If it was the appearance of a _dazed_ Mihashi, Abe felt apprehensive about it.

"Mihashi," Abe called out but he felt curious when the blond did not even reply. Mihashi seemed to be stuck in that expression, almost oblivious of the things around him. Abe only raised an eyebrow at that and chose to sit beside the blond. _Perhaps he's just too dizzy to give an answer_, he first thought. _Or perhaps his head is aching or something_, he added as he took a peek back at Mihashi once again. He folded his arms in front of his chest, feeling slightly settled with the silence around him – with the sleeping Kanō and the non-stuttering Mihashi.

"_N-No… No…_" Mihashi suddenly began to speak, pulling Abe's attention instantly. His eyes only widened in surprise when he saw tears instantly pooled Mihashi's silvery eyes and streamed down to his cheeks. At that point, Mihashi raised his hand in front of him, as if trying to defend himself from some invisible assailant. "_No… p-please… d-don't_," he continued to mutter softly. "_Don't h-h-hurt me… anymore… Don't… N-No! Not that!_" He sounded frantic and it made Abe anxious as soon. The teen then sent his hands over Mihashi's shoulder and grasped them not too tight. Abe started to shake him.

"Miha—"

* * *

"—shi," a teen that stood in front called him. The metallic gleam of the aluminum bat shone, making the blond shudder just by seeing it. Mihashi's eyes poured out his tears, as an unexplainable amount of fear started to fill him. At that moment, nothing but darkness blanketed everything, except for Mihashi, the teen in front of him and another one who was so familiar to the blond – Kanō Shūgo. The one in front of him raised the bat and placed its tip by his shoulders. He grinned down at the shaking Mihashi, eyes narrowing down in both hatred and anticipation.

Pain suddenly shot up from his hands. Mihashi looked down to see what happened and was shocked as he saw his own arms decorated with patches of blue and red. The pain started to rise in intensity. As the realization of what happened hit him, Mihashi finally could not ignore the pain that tore through him. He wailed out loud as he felt his arms fell _limp_ – limp because of the pain, of the damage, of the strikes that bat had made. Finally, they had managed to _break_ his arms, his arms that enabled him to remain on the mound.

Mihashi continued to cry. He could not even move his hands. It was showered with blotches of blood and the deep blue that denoted how deep the damage had been. He could only stare at the bat as it slowly coated with the same tint of red as the one on his hand. The teen in front of him only grinned more, seeing how hurt and pained Mihashi was at that time. A thud signaled that the bat held by the teen was finally dropped. Mihashi looked again to see that he had approached him a little closer than before.

"You have no right to become _ace_," the teen with an almost roundish face and semi-shaven head spat. His glare and his grin were frightening – Mihashi could not look at him without his body trembling in deep fear. "Perhaps I wasn't able to do something before, but I won't certainly miss doing anything right now," he added with a mischievous-sounding laughter. "If not because of you, Kanō would have been the regular pitcher." Mihashi and the teen looked at Kanō, who stood not too far away. "If not because of you, we should have won throughout our years in the middle school."

The teen pocketed his hand and fished out a small bottle. "Even if your arms are broken, I want to make sure that you will _never _pitch again," he threatened Mihashi. "I'm going to take _out_ one more important thing from you," he smiled at the blond.

Mihashi then understood. "No-No… No." He begged as arms appeared from the darkness and held him by his shoulder. "No… please… don't." He finally raised his hand in an effort to cover his face away from the teen. "Don't h-h-hurt me anymore… Don't…" Mihashi's eyes were wide when he realized what the other teen was holding. He slowly placed it atop his head and face. "N-no! Not that!" Mihashi begged, as watering again.

The teen tilted the bottle… and the bottle's content poured out in a stream. "You can finally say goodbye to baseball, Miha—"

**. . . . . . . . .**

"—shi!" Abe shook him almost violently. Mihashi was startled, but he did not react outwardly. He only twisted his face towards Abe and looked at him confusedly. Even though he could not see Abe, Mihashi should act as if he was looking at him. Mihashi knew that he dreamt and he was partly thankful that he was pulled out of stupor even before the dream _swallowed_ him whole.

"A-Abe-kun…?" He stated the other boy's name with an inquiring tone. He made sure that he would crease his brows slightly, to add an effect that he was confused – as what Kanō had always told him. Now that he had lost his sight, he needed to be more conscious about the expressions he would make. _I wonder why… Abe-kun went here? _He asked in thought, really curious as to the reason why the catcher made an effort to go all the way to the back of the bus. "I-Is there… something… wrong?" He asked.

Mihashi noticed that it took some seconds before Abe made a reply. "If you're not good with riding, you should have taken some medicine before you got on." Abe's deep voice said, sounding almost reproachful. But Mihashi could not pull away the odd tone that rang inside his ears – Abe sounded more _bewildered_ than concerned. The strange pause before he answered told Mihashi that Abe thought of a _safe_ answer to give. However, Mihashi could not point out the reason why. He heard something crumpled in front of him. "Here, take it," Mihashi realized that Abe was handing him something. He immediately took it.

_Medicine_, Mihashi concluded as he tore the foil and pinched off the small tablet to his palm. "T…thank you," he muttered softly. It took all of his efforts so that he could avoid the medicine from rolling away from his hand. _So… Abe-kun's just… worried. He gave me a medicine_, he concluded. "I'm not usually like this…"

"What is it?" Abe spoke. Again, Mihashi heard the odd tone from the other teen. _What's bothering Abe-kun?_ He asked in his head. "You haven't been feeling well?" He listened to Abe's question, while he fiddled with the table on his palm; he need to make it stay.

"I haven't been sleeping well these days." Mihashi answered, as he leaned his full weight against the seat's backrest. He swallowed the tablet and followed it up with a small gulp of water from the bottle he picked beside him.

"Why?"

"Coach told me she wouldn't let me pitch unless I change my personality…" Mihashi replaced the bottle's cap. He felt his tears brimmed over his eyes. "So whenever I think about it, I get really nervous…" He tried to rub the tears away from his face. But when he touched his skin, Mihashi was confused because there had been a trail of tears even though he hadn't cried yet.

**. . . . . . . . .**

But that was the exact reason why Abe held up his words.

It certainly looked that he was dizzy from a distance, but Abe was so confused about why Mihashi acted that way. _He looked like he was dreaming_… he said in his thought as he stared back at the blond. _But his eyes were open, I'm sure_, Abe was still silent at that point. He had removed his hands from the blond when Mihashi seemed to have gained awareness of his surroundings.

_Hallucination, perhaps?_ Abe had even thought, but he quickly shook it off his mind. _There's no reason for him to hallucinate_, he mentally remarked as he kept the conversation going. For some reason, Mihashi kept staring at him worriedly, seemingly aware of the curiosity and confusion that boggled Abe's head. Nevertheless, Abe just ignored it and watched as the blond made some gestures that implied his feelings. _It's not an act_, that was for sure_, but I can't help but think that he just experienced a nightmare_, he placed in his head. Still, the fact that Mihashi was wide _awake_ negated that.

'_So whenever I think about it, I get really nervous…_' Abe heard Mihashi say and noticed that he was crying once again. However, Abe was equally surprised when Mihashi obviously twitched at the wet sensation he felt by his fingertips. It seemed that even Mihashi was unaware that he had cried himself out when Abe approached him earlier. _If that is the case, then I'm sure he was dreaming_, Abe added in his thoughts. _And it's not really uncommon for people to act out what they're dreaming in some nightmares_, he followed up.

It only meant that Mihashi had been dreaming since the start of their ride. It was the only logical conclusion that Abe could make. Perhaps he could believe that Mihashi's anxiety was partly responsible for his ragged thoughts, but it did not appeal Abe too much. It was almost laughable to think that Mihashi was sleepless just because of the thought of not being able to stand on the mound. And to Abe, it almost sounded like an _excuse _to hide a reason much serious than the previous thought. Abe looked warily at Mihashi. _There's something more, isn't it?_ He only asked in thought.

But if Mihashi would continue being the pitcher, then the blond should clear his mind. Abe understood that he couldn't stand up with Mihashi's personality, but he was willing to be patient just because Mihashi was an _ideal_ ace. He didn't want Mihashi to lose his 'ace' status, but Abe was concerned that his character would backfire and affect his pitches. _I'll just have to ignore his personality_, Abe repeated as he slumped on the seat. He absentmindedly turned his head towards the still-sleeping Kanō. _I know that the two of you are trying to hide something_, he told Kanō – a message the pitcher won't even hear.

* * *

Perhaps it was only because everyone was busy that they didn't seem to notice Mihashi treading awkwardly in the center of the room. Abe was a little mindful, though, since he had kept a lingering eye over the blond ever since the 'scene' that happened inside the bus. It also appeared that no one had even saw Mihashi when he 'acted' weirdly, a point Abe was still indifferent about.

_It's obvious that something's bothering him_, Abe thought as he sent a quick glance at their coach, Momokan, _aside from the threat of being forbidden from the mound_. As he turned, he then saw an unmotivated Kanō who seemed to give a frustrated look. As he dusted off the wooden fixtures, Kanō appeared to send some snarky glances at a particular person. Abe didn't need to confirm that the pitcher was looking out for the blond as well. Abe frowned as he let his eyes rest over the blond as well. It was obvious that Mihashi couldn't find any work inside the house.

"_Not that way!_" Abe heard Kanō's voice once again but his focus remained over Mihashi – especially that the blond had collided with a wooden frame of the _shoji_ door. The resonating thud had even attracted the attention of not only Mizutani but by Shiga-po himself. The sensei only chuckled softly as he moved away to see to the others.

"_He's really useless when it comes to _new _places_," Kanō's remark was sharp, but it only made Abe look blankly at the two pitchers. _So it's entirely normal to see Mihashi flustered in new places, huh?_ Abe insinuated from Kanō's words. He shrugged the thought off… just before he heard another knocking sound from not too far.

Mihashi managed to whack himself against the cabinet that stood nearby the door. Abe only gave a blank look. _Just how clumsy he could be? _He added mentally and decided to approach the blond.

"Mihashi," Abe called and saw how the other teen shuddered upon his voice. Abe resisted the urge to make a facepalm. "Are you alright?"

"I-I-I'm fine… Abe-kun," Mihashi stuttered. "I just… don't know what… to do." The blond fidgeted as he intertwined his fingers together. "I'm just… not _used_ to new… places."

"Not used?" Abe rose. "You certainly look nervous." He pointed out. "And for some reason, knocking your head twice doesn't look too good to me." The teen added as he placed a hand under his chin. His eyes still remained over Mihashi. "Could it be…"

Mihashi's looked surprised. _Does Abe-kun know already?_ It was the immediate concern that appeared in his head. Shū-chan did tell him that Abe seemed to be the one who thought deeply and carefully. Perhaps Abe was able to know the truth just by observing him. _This is bad… Shū-chan… help me_.

"…that you're still _dizzy_?" Abe asked. "You really look exhausted back there at the bus."

Mihashi almost stopped breathing but regained his thought when he realized that Abe was only worried than _curious_ about him. The blond flapped his mouth open and close for some seconds before he was able to answer. "Yes!" He said animatedly. "Yes… I don't really feel… good right now." Mihashi 'tried' to look back at Abe. "I feel that my body's… wobbling a bit." He informed the other teen. But because he was totally unaware of Abe's reactions, Mihashi briefly pondered if the other teen bought his response.

But Abe was certainly _not_ satisfied with the answer.

The odd pause he made in between his question was intended. Abe was partly surprised on how Mihashi tensed up when he held up his question for a second. He only felt more interested about it, since he felt he just found the trail that could lead him to the answers he was looking for. _It's definitely something more than what he told me earlier_, Abe reminded himself. _Even if it's something that doesn't concern me, I can't have the pitcher act this way_, he reasoned.

"_Yosh_," both of them hear Shiga-po's faint call. "_Let's wrap up housecleaning for now and go out for wild-plant picking_." He announced to the rest of the boys. In an instant, all of them shuffled out of the house and followed the club's adviser. However, on their way outside, Momokan appeared and snatched Abe, Kanō and Mihashi's attention.

"The three of you have a different assignment." She just said. On cue, the trio separated from the main group and trod behind their coach.

"Just walk behind Abe," Kanō told Mihashi. "You'll be fine,"

"B-But…"

"You just need to get used to this place," Kanō waved off Mihashi's reservation.

_What do you mean 'just walk behind me'?_ Somehow, Abe felt discomfited with the unusual remark – but more like an _order_ – from Kanō. _That feels a little creepy, man_, he commented, but he could not really voice out his concern. He couldn't really ignore the peculiar behavior the two pitchers were showing.

"_Ren_, watch out!"

_Ren?_ Abe did not recognize the name. _Who's that— _He only felt that someone tumbled behind him. The blond fell forward and crashed on his back. If not for his reflexes, Abe and even Mihashi would've collapsed to the ground. Twisting slightly in order to give a supporting arm, Abe reached out to the blond and held him by his shoulders. Mihashi was practically chanting every line expressing apology he knew at that moment. "Are you hurt?" He waited for an answer.

But Abe's eyes were directed at Kanō that time.

The pitcher appeared to be looking down at the ground, as if glaring menacingly at something. When Abe glanced down a bit, he saw the cause of Mihashi's sudden fall – a piece of rock that Abe himself had avoided as he walked.

_But it's impossible to miss something of that size_.

**. . . . . . . . .**

At least Abe was glad that he wasn't the only one who was entirely against the plan to improve Mihashi's pitching velocity. Abe really did think that Kanō's endorsement of Mihashi was a plan to make the latter improve, so he had already determined that the other pitcher would be tolerant of any exercises and treatment that would be given to Mihashi. _But it seems that he really is more logical than his friend_, Abe said in thought. They both understood how important Mihashi's control over his pitches was.

But, on the other side of the field, Mihashi just ignored them as he focused on balancing himself atop the wooden block Momokan left them. With the promise that his pitches would run with speeds almost ten-kilometer-per-hour faster than his average, the blond gladly accepted their coach's training regimen. It pissed Abe off; no doubt about it. It was already very obvious that Mihashi couldn't equate his control with velocity; losing his control now would be a waste. _A total waste_, Abe added, as he narrowed his eyes against the blond. _I can't use a pitcher with such a wild pitch_.

"I think it's bad for him to _reduce_ his control now," Kanō voiced out. Abe gave a side glance. "To think that even Mihashi wants to speed up his pitches…" The pitcher sighed. "But you won't complain about his nine-partition strike zone? Right?" Kanō asked Abe.

"Of course not," Abe answered immediately. "But I'm concerned if he loses that control of his," he added.

"You don't have to worry about it." Kanō responded. Abe looked surprised with the casual reply. He saw that the pitcher was looking at him intently. "I know you've been watching Mihashi all these times," he started, but Abe had a quick retort prepared in his head. _But that also means you are observing me too_, he thought. But Abe chose to remain docile and gave a neutral response.

"Yeah," he answered. "But in the way he acts, I think nobody would really ignore him."

"Well, perhaps that's the fault of his personality," Kanō replied.

_Precisely_, Abe inwardly claimed. "You're his friend. Aren't you going to stop him?"

"Mihashi is unusually stubborn." Kanō said as he crossed his arms in front of him. "But if he chooses to obey, he does so thoroughly." He told Abe. "It's not like I don't want to stop him, but I just know he wouldn't simply budge if I tell him to stop right now. If you insist, Mihashi's just going to get harder to sway." Kanō reasoned, and, from the look on his face, Abe was convinced.

"Even so," Abe soon replied, "I don't want him to lose that control,"

"_Ne_, Abe," Kanō called for his full attention again. "Both of us feel that we can't yet trust each other fully," and Abe almost nodded, "but I know that you can also be _trusted_ about some things." The pitcher told the catcher. "I told you not to worry about his control because it's the least concern for now – at least, to my part." He explained.

Abe responded with silence.

"Mihashi informed you about the _nine_-partition strike zone back when we all first met," Kanō reminded Abe.

"That's his precious skill," Abe remarked, still going for neutral responses.

"If Mihashi chooses to increase the velocity of his pitch, his control would _recede_ to that nine-partition," Kanō said. But Abe quickly caught the hint that went with the pitcher's words. He had taken the word '_recede'_ in deep doubt. It did not need the greatest of efforts to think of the meaning of that word. Since Abe did not give out any reply, Kanō simply took his opportunity to continue. "The real extent of Mihashi's control is not limited to nine. Mihashi could even cut the strike zone into _four_."

Abe stood shocked. The nine-partition had already been a surprise, even to him. But to hear that a person could pinpoint his target with that kind of precision, by cutting the strike zone into _twelve_-partitions, Abe could not easily believe it. His expression told Kanō that he was doubtful of the statement he had heard from him. "You don't have to believe me right now," Kanō spoke. "Even I had the same reaction when I found out about it." He shared. "I just thought that if he's able to speed up his pitches, his control would be reduced. But I'm not still really convinced if he could maintain the nine-partition if he pitches that way,"

"But why didn't he tell me back then?" Abe finally recovered. "We definitely have an advantage because of it."

"Some schools have scouted Mihashi before we went to Nishiura," Kanō said. "The school year has just started and—"

"And he might be recruited and be _transferred_, I know," Abe cut Kanō off as he placed a hand over his head. Now the significance of Mihashi's skill had been _doubled_; there was no way that he'd allow Mihashi to get away from Nishiura and to lose his control. A thought quickly entered Abe's mind. "But the signs you taught me seems too basic," he asked as he slid his hand away from his head.

"_Aa_," Kanō muttered. "We haven't shown the _additional_ signs that would tell him to use the _extra_-precise pitches,"

**. . . . . . . . .**

Kanō hoped that it proved to be enough _distraction _for the catcher.

He was really reluctant to share the information to Mihashi's catcher, but Kanō understood that in order to draw out his friend's real power he needed the catcher to know this thing as well. And with how Abe staggered with the detail, Kanō felt that it would help in diverting Abe's attention away from Mihashi's secret for a while. He was growing concerned in how Abe appeared to be investigating in the sidelines. They both kept their eyes over Mihashi, so it was not a surprise if they noticed each other once in a while. But with Abe's apparently good deductive skills, Kanō was not sure if they could keep the secret longer.

Abe was keen to learn the additional signs that Kanō told him. After all, there was no catcher that couldn't resist the sight of the best pitches that could strike out any player within a game. Of course, even Kanō was proud to have a fellow pitcher and friend that could throw pitches in a very precise manner. With Abe's focus now directed at how amazing Mihashi's pitches truly were, Kanō felt that they could hold Abe at bay for a while.

But still, guilt weighed against him.

_He became better in controlling his pitches… for a price_, Kanō thought. He looked at Mihoshi who still practice the windup atop the wooden block.

_ I'm really sorry, Ren_.

* * *

- **Chapter End** -


	4. Realizing the facts

**Chapter 4  
**_**Realizing the facts**_

* * *

"That seemed to be a pretty serious talk out there," their coach greeted Abe as soon as the catcher reached the clearing just beside the field. Abe only gave her an expressionless stare, which took him a lifetime effort to do; his heart actually almost jumped out of his chest when he heard Momo-kan speak to him. He only heaved out a sigh while he approached the nearest tree and leaned by its huge trunk. Abe showed her a long stare. "I'm really wondering about what kind of conversations you and Kanō-kun share with each other,"

"Just the plain, old boring ones," Abe answered, his attention now focused on the dog that lay limp upon the short patches of grass. He had held the dog earlier that afternoon when Momo-kan tried to give pointers to Mihashi lately, and he now concluded that it was the only time that he saw the pet _awake_. Often times he would see the dog lounged around the area where they practiced, deeply asleep. _Do dogs really sleep every time?_ He lifted the question off from him as he turned to Momo-kan. "It's nothing interesting." Abe _lied_.

In fact, what Kanō had shared to him back in the field was one of the most noteworthy things that he had learned since he played baseball. Mihashi's extent of control was so precise that he could place his pitches in a _twelve_-partition zone. It was already difficult for pros to locate a zone divided into three; what effort would it need just to make a pitcher throw a pitch so accurately? Until that time, Abe was still mesmerized about the fact he learned about Mihashi. _Now it isn't just appeal_, he said in thought. _Mihashi is simply fated to _be_ a pitcher_.

However, Momo-kan only looked at him amusedly. Abe, of course, only deadpanned at the expression given to him. "You're quite a baseball lover, Abe-kun." She stated at first. Even though her eyes appeared stern, she appeared to be less austere than she looked. Even so, Abe was partly wary of her quirks as their female coach. "I don't think I'd find your remarks boring," she told Abe, but her face changed a little bit when a thought seemingly popped in her mind. "Unless it's not really baseball-related," she added. Abe noted how her tone sounded like teasing him.

"_Probably_ it's not baseball-related," Abe answered, now folding his arms in front of him. He was not really used to 'funny'-speak, but he chose to humor his coach right now. Abe knew he would not be offending her; Momo-kan seemed to have identified the type of personality he already had. Plus, even though not that frequent, Abe had met Momo-kan during the spring, before classes had even begun for the new semester, which may had helped developed that impression of him. _And I don't really want to share what I heard about Mihashi right now_, he mentally said. _At least, not yet_,

"You're really so mature, Abe-kun," Momo-kan told him, which made Abe look at her curiously. "If I were your parent, I'd ask myself where I had gone wrong in raising you," she remarked and then made an almost innocent chuckle. "If you're already so 'adult' now in your teen years, then I guess that you might even have a _boring_ private life," she said snidely, "and probably even some boring _preferences_." Momo-kan continued to giggle as Abe's cheeks flushed red. It sounded so awkward, and it did not help that it came from their coach – a _woman_! – herself.

_This is not the time to hold that kind of conversation, kantoku_, Abe could literally feel the heat that brimmed over his face. The catcher felt so embarrassed about the fact that his coach's insight of him had even reached to _that _point. And it seemed that Momo-kan had no problems in stating that kind of statement, which made Abe slightly conscious of himself. _Hold yourself together_, he told himself as he raised his head back to give a look at the coach. "I t-thought you went back to the h-house," Abe tried his best to change the topic. Momo-kan only laughed at the obvious effort.

"The other boys are holding up together just by themselves," she answered Abe. "I think they're already good as they are. That's why I took a stroll with Ai-chan again." She added, giving her dog a fleeting look before she refocused her attention towards the catcher. "I can tell what kind of reckless training Mihashi-kun has put himself through, so I thought of checking-up on you three. I did tell you to return by five o'clock," Momo-kan said. Abe nodded once; he suddenly remembered the reason why he marched away from the field. _Mihashi_, Abe seethed. "By the way, what are you doing far out away from your pitcher?"

"He's definitely reckless," Abe responded, stripping away the small tone of irritation from his voice. He didn't want to blow up in front of their coach. He respected and _feared_ her at the same time. "Even though he's just practicing the windup, I still don't feel good about letting him pitch much faster than what he has right now," he told Momo-kan. The female coach only looked at him thoughtfully at first, before she sent a gaze to the two figures that the stood in the middle of the field.

"Well, what about Kanō-kun?" She asked without facing Abe. Her eyes remained over the blond pitcher who kept himself balanced atop the wooden block. "I thought Abe-kun and Kanō-kun are against about the idea of speeding up Mihashi-kun's pitching?" She added as an afterthought.

"He said he didn't like it as well," Abe replied. "But he also said that telling Mihashi to _stop _would only make him more persistent." He explained, much to Momo-kan's amusement. "I don't get it. If Kanō understands it well, then why isn't he even _trying_ to stop Mihashi? I know that it isn't—"

"So that's the reason why you walked away from them," Momo-kan said. Abe looked struck at first and hid his face away from his coach. _She made it sound that I'm having a tantrum_, Abe thought. _I'm not having a tantrum. I just don't want to say some things I don't really mean_, he reasoned. He suddenly placed his hand in front of his mouth. _Crap! Did I just sound like I'm really having a tantrum?_ Nevertheless, he was pulled off from his musings when Momo-kan spoke to him again. "Is it wrong to add some power to his pitching?"

"What?" Abe looked at the woman, unsure whether the statement was rhetoric or Momo-kan was interested in a real answer. His pupils landed to the side as he kept the glance towards his coach.

"How far do you think we can go with just his control and breaking pitches?" Momo-kan added as she noticed the lingering look given to him by extremely calculating teen. Perhaps, it was even acceptable to say that Abe as well gauge Momo-kan like what he'd do with his teammates. Momoe Maria waited patiently for Abe-kun to give his answer.

"We can go as far as there is!" Abe answered soon, but he twisted his head away from the coach. Abe's reluctance about Mihashi's training was still apparent, judging from the tone of his voice and gestures. However, there was one point that Momo-kan could not easily let by.

"'_As long as I call the game_'?" Momo-kan quickly filled in. She ended up with a small smile when she saw Abe stood in shock. Even though Abe had an adult mindset, he was still _physically _an adolescent. Momoe understood that just as soon as the baseball team was formed. It wasn't difficult to discover at all.

A frown now marred Abe's face. When he tried to look back at his coach, he only felt a strong finger prod his forehead hard. Abe was surprised to see that Momo-kan had already approached him. His eyes widened as his coach seemed to tower against him. "Abe-kun, you don't understand what a catcher is about." Momo-kan then flicked her finger, which pushed Abe away. The teen stepped backwards and rubbed his forehead. He felt his cheeks burned up once again, clearly startled with the female's suddenness. "It's nearly five." She only said. "I suggest you call Kanō-kun and Mihashi-kun so that the three of you can head back.

Momo-kan finally left. It took at least a full minute for Abe to regain his composure. Their dialogue had been abrupt, but it managed to push Abe out his comfort zone. As he trailed a look back at his coach, Abe's mind cluttered with several questions that stemmed from their conversation. He slowly looked at where Kanō and Mihashi practiced. _I don't understand what a catcher is about?_ It was the main question in his head. _What does she mean by that? _He added, as he decided to go back and ask the two pitchers to return.

* * *

"—but for a young woman to act that way, that's a little weird." Hanai told them half-worriedly. The topic of discussion had shifted some seconds ago to their female coach. Of course it was bound to happen, after all, and Hanai would not expect less since she was a _female_ coach in a _boy_'s baseball team. He was even the first one to have expressed his uncertainty to Momo-kan when they all first met two weeks ago. Well, it was a point that Hanai was sorry for, but what they were talking about right now was an entirely _different_ idea.

The teen with the nearly shaven hair looked suspiciously to his sides as he modulated his voice down. What Hanai thought right now was just a passing deduction, but it was nevertheless an interesting thought. "Hey, can it be…" he felt a little amount of awkwardness as he prepared to share them his mind. "…that Shiga-po and Momoe are dating?" Hanai then summoned different expressions of surprise from the rest of the teens. He felt as if he and the other guys had the same supposition about the matter.

However, among them, Tajima stood unfazed with the wild theory and gave an impression that it was a one of the numerous possibilities that could happen at any point. He even wondered why his teammates suddenly looked glum.

"Just now I imagined something really horrible…" Sakaeguchi voiced out.

"What about it?" Tajima said, turning his head to see the faces of the other guys.

The teens were certainly enjoying themselves. It was the thought that ran over Mihashi's head as he listened to their conversation. He was partly interested with the banter, but he felt that it would be rude for him to butt in. Also, even though he did want to take part with the exchange, Mihashi knew that he won't be able to focus himself for long. There was another thought that partially took his mind, which made the blond unenthusiastic despite the blissful atmosphere around him. Without attracting his teammate's attention, he tiptoed away from the room and closed the _shōji_ door behind him.

He slumped down on the porch's wooden flooring and tucked his knees nearer his chest. Mihashi could still hear his teammates, thanks to his sensitive hearing, but he gradually moved his ears away from them.

Mihashi was not oblivious of the talk that Shū-chan and Abe-kun had earlier. Even though his hands and his body were focused on maintaining balance as he did a windup, his ears and his mind were directed to the two teens that stood at some distance away from him. Mihashi just so knew that Shū-chan had miscalculated the distance of his delicate hearing, which, in turn, lead to the blond overhearing the words shared by the two teens. Mihashi had wanted to approach Shū-chan that time, but, somehow, there was feeling inside that told him to wait and _listen_.

_I thought Shū-chan doesn't want to let others know about the twelve-partition strikes_, Mihashi thought as he rested his head over his knees. He really felt so confused about the things that Shū-chan had done. In the first place, wasn't the purpose of joining Nishiura was to let Kanō play as a pitcher? The two of them had decided that transferring out of Mihoshi was almost similar to taking on a new life, a new start. Away from the nightmares that caused them to break, Mihashi and Kanō could look into a new stage in order to continue playing baseball.

_But Shū-chan had blew off his chance… and gave it to me_, the blond thought as reluctance and confusion washed over him, tearing the last remnants of confidence he had for himself. Kanō deserved to become the pitcher. Kanō had the better _outcome_ if he remained to be the pitcher. Unlike his friend, Mihashi was nothing but a person who held haplessly at the last thread of hope – and he was barely even holding. Perhaps Mihashi was happy that he could pitch once again, but knowing once more that his pitches would lead to _somebody_ else's failure made him feel weak and pathetic.

There was that single question that covered up all his thought, Mihashi discerned, and it would only take one _Kanō_ to answer it. Mihashi could hear the softest of voice, could hear the faintest whisper, but he would never be able to hear what a person's heart often say. Mihashi was equally worried for his friend, as Kanō was as bit as concerned for the blond. They'd been together in the eye of the tempest, and it only took both honesty and trust for them to keep their hopes and move on. _Please, Kanō-kun_, _I want to understand you_.

Mihashi heard some shuffling steps that came from the hallway that connected to the porch. He twisted to look at the source of the sound. The footsteps that he heard were heavy with each stride – certainly much louder than his teammates. The blond then understood and identified the owner of those footsteps as Shiga-po, their club's adviser. Mihashi heard the older male stopped just in front of him. He looked up and sent an inquisitive glance. _Is there… something wrong in my face?_ It was what he thought at first, and his worries started to shoot up almost instantaneously. _What if_—

"Mihashi," Shiga-po called him, "are you tired?" The blond only tensed up even more. "We didn't do that much physical work today." He added. Mihashi didn't answer. "Did you sleep well last night?"

_If he finds out that I haven't been sleeping well… he'll start talking about my personality again… _Mihashi said in thought, mouth curled down in a worried frown. And it would lead out again to Momo-kan's threat of not letting him step up on the mound.

"What is it?" Mihashi couldn't see, but he noted that Shiga-po's voice was a lot closer to him than before. Perhaps the older male had leaned over him to hear him speak.

"I-I'm… fine…" Mihashi finally answered. There was a pregnant pause the settled down between them, and Mihashi felt strangled about it. It was really difficult to handle a conversation when he could not see the other person, and it only made him really conscious about himself. In turn, it only accentuated his contempt against himself. He felt so weak that he couldn't even speak normally. He felt so pitiful that the people around him needed tolerate someone who was so feeble and timid like him.

Mihashi heard Shiga-po muttered a soft '_alright then_' before he slid the door open and joined the other teens inside.

The conversation grew louder when the adviser entered, but Mihashi's attention was somewhere else. The noise that he heard only became a background for his thoughts, the questions that rose in his mind not too long ago resurfacing once again to hammer him down. Mihashi only wanted to know what's going on with Shū-chan. It made him felt that Shū-chan was acting very differently, and now he couldn't push away the feeling of fear that rose from within him. He felt scared that he couldn't reach out to—

"Ren?" Mihashi heard Shū-chan's voice. "I was wondering where you went. I didn't immediately notice that you left." He said, and his voice was laced with a hidden tone of worry. The teen stepped forward and approached the blond.

"_Shū-c_—Kanō-kun, you should… stay inside," Mihashi answered. He felt some breeze brushed his cheek. The wind was a little bit chilly, so he snuggled his arms around his knees more tightly. "It's warm… and it seems fun to be inside." He added, looking up at where he last heard Kanō's voice.

Mihashi felt a hand that rested over his head, which forced him to look to his side. The blond then realized that Kanō had sat down beside him when he heard a stifled sigh from his fellow pitcher. "If it's 'warm' and 'fun' inside, then why don't you come in?" Kanō just asked. The blond hear a high-pitched, crackling sound; the sound made when a person scratched his hair. "What are you even doing out here alone, anyway?" Kanō asked the blond, and the question obviously made Mihashi uncomfortable – as shown when he quivered upon hearing the statement.

Kanō only eyed the blond warily.

"I-I-I don't want to spoil… the fun," Mihashi answered, and Kanō resisted the urge to yell back in reply. Up until now, Mihashi still thought that he was a reason for everyone's sadness, that he was one big mess that ruined other people's enjoyment – much especially to baseball. They went away from Mihoshi so that Mihashi would not feel that way anymore, right? Kanō looked almost furious, and he was partly glad that Mihashi couldn't see his face. "And I'm thinking of something else…" and that caught up Kanō's attention. "Actually, I want to speak with you, Kanō-kun," Mihashi finally said.

"What about?" He asked. Kanō briefly wondered about the reason why his friend wanted to talk to him. He adjusted his seat and inched closer to Mihashi, now should-to-shoulder with his blond friend.

"I heard you… and Abe-kun spoke… with each other," Kanō's eyes were wide in surprise. He didn't want Mihashi to know, so he made sure to stand at a certain distance from his friend. But it only appeared that his attempt ended up in failure. "I know you don't trust Abe-kun… fully… yet. But I have a feeling that… you only did that… for me." Mihashi shared to the other teen.

And it was true. Kanō only did that in order to stop Abe from snooping around about Mihashi and as well as to help the latter with his pitches. If Mihashi was truly that skillful, then there was no reason for them to hide it from the catcher who'd take advantage of it. It was indeed for Mihashi's sake, for him to become a better pitcher… to become a _true_ ace pitcher. Kanō was speechless and he was startled when Mihashi took the initiative to continue. "I'm not… sad that you tried to hide it from me… but…" Mihashi paused for some seconds.

"… I'm afraid that you are throwing _away_ what's… important to you just because of _me_."

"What are you talking about, Ren?" Kanō first asked, really confused about what his friend was telling him. "I'm not throwing away anything important. I'm doing this because I want to help you. I want to pull you away from the bad past and the bad memories." He told Mihashi. His brows furrowed because he couldn't understand what Ren tried to point at. He saw that tears started to brim over Mihashi's eyes. _What did I say this time?_

"Kanō-kun," Mihashi said with a sniff, "I'm afraid… I feel that you are giving up as a _pitcher_." He finally said. "It feels like you're… throwing away your position as pitcher for me to pick it up…" Mihashi told the other boy. "I feel sad because… I'm like a burden to you… Do you hate being a pitcher, Kanō-kun?" A single tear drove off from his eyes and ran down over his face. "Do you _feel_ guilty about being a pitcher? Kanō-kun… I don't want to pick it up… If you're giving up because of me… then I—"

But Mihashi never finished his statement when Kanō grabbed his shirt that he almost shoved the blond against the floor. Kanō was upset with what Mihashi told him, he felt mad that even his friend had thought of him that way. Mihashi was truly stubborn; so stubborn that he wouldn't even accept the reasoning behind what Kanō did for him. He felt like hitting his friend, just to teach how wrong he was in that regard. But he couldn't. Mihashi was already helpless, and Kanō was the only person who could give him help. He was so angry, but he felt so hurt at the same time.

Kanō felt mortified when Mihashi's tears fell like a river. The blond did not even struggle when he was shoved, he didn't even mutter a single word when Kanō nearly attacked him. Mihashi only gave out muted sobs as he remained collapsed over the porch; Kanō's hand still clutched his clothes tightly. Kanō only realized that he had caused a scene when the pillow fight inside the room ended, and when everyone's attentions were on him. His eyes darted all over their stunned expressions. Kanō let go of Mihashi and moved away from him.

He could not even mutter an apology.

Hanai had raced to Mihashi at that point. Kanō looked at his friend for one last time before he stormed away from the porch and out of the house.

* * *

A thick air of tension loomed over them the next morning.

For some reason, Abe noticed, most of the guys kept a look over the other pitcher, Kanō, who stood unaccompanied at the side of the field. He was not oblivious about the particular story that happened last night, but he did not dare himself to dig in. Abe had a share of his own thoughts and it wouldn't help both of them if he tried to mediate.

Abe's mind drifted from the brown-haired pitcher to Mihashi. Abe almost frowned when he noticed that Mihashi appeared more exhausted than yesterday. It was fairly obvious that he hadn't received a fair amount of sleep last night. His movement was a little sluggish, but he was thankful that the blond's pitches came as perfect as he wanted it to be. But, somehow, Abe couldn't help but observe that Mihashi kept turning his head around for some time now, as if he was _trying _to look for something.

_Maybe he's just restless_, Abe reasoned at first. After all, a person tended to be twitchy if he didn't have enough sleep. It would also appear that it was typical of Mihashi's behavior, but, somehow, Abe could feel that there was something wrong with the other boy. Mihashi looked like a kid who was trying to look for his parent, a boy who was lost in the middle of the bustling crowd. _Lost_, Abe repeated the word in his head. _As if he doesn't know where he is_, he mentally remarked. _As if he doesn't know where to look_.

"Miha—" Abe stopped midway. He wanted to ask Mihashi if he was still doing well. But the memory of yesterday pierced his mind once again. He was a catcher, but Momo-kan told him that he didn't even understand what a catcher was all about. He suddenly felt a wave of nausea hit him; too weak to make him feel sick, but enough for him to stumble and mildly lose his footing. Abe felt constricted, as if doubt started to cloud inside his chest. _No, I'm not supposed to feel like this_, he chided himself. But he found out soon that it already felt difficult to strike a conversation with Mihashi.

'_Abe-kun, you don't understand what a catcher is about_', Momo-kan's words echoed inside his head. Of course, one of the catcher's main responsibilities was to the pitcher. And, right now, he felt really uneasy because there was a hole in him that he couldn't find himself. _What am I not understanding about the pitcher? _He felt conscious that he didn't know about it. He felt conscious being around the pitcher. '_As long as I call the game?_' Her voice sounded again. _What is it?_ Abe seethed to himself as he stared at Mihashi who stood on the mound.

**. . . . . . . . .**

He felt really horrible.

Kanō didn't have the strength to say sorry to Mihashi that morning. For some reason, the guilt within him trampled him like garbage. He really regretted what he had done to his friend, so it felt awful that he couldn't muster an effort to ask for an apology. He felt the stares given to him by the team. It was really awkward, but it was his fault anyway. He was the one who should understand Mihashi the best, so just what possessed him last night to act that way to his friend?

However, Kanō hoped that Mihashi would remain well for that day. The catcher, Abe, seemed to have taken a more cursory attention to his friend. He wondered if he could rely to Abe for that time, during the time that he and Mihashi were in a slight misunderstanding. Since the catcher himself was the one so keen in trying to get in touch with Mihashi, Kanō decided that it was probably worth trying. After all, Kanō wanted a catcher that would do his best for the pitcher.

But even Kanō could feel the strange feeling of detachment between Mihashi and Abe, as he observed the duo from afar. _What are you doing?_ Kanō mentally asked, but directing it to Abe. _Mihashi needs you right now_, he added. _Without me around, he won't know where to go_, he told Abe, even though Kanō knew that the catcher was completely ignorant of his thoughts. Probably, something went inside Abe's mind right now, similar to what was going on with his own. Kanō could only sigh at that time. He couldn't dare approach Mihashi. And even Abe seemed reluctant to go with the blond.

**. . . . . . . . .**

Shū-chan was not beside him. Abe-kun seemed hesitant when he tried to approach him. Mihashi could only feel the darkness swallow him up whole.

Once again, Mihashi felt truly blind.

* * *

- **Chapter End** -


	5. Stepping back

**Chapter 5  
**_**Stepping back**_

* * *

"_Ne_, _ne_," Sakaeguchi whipped his head to Izumi beside him. The other teen turned, and the soft light of the morning sun faintly illumined his freckled skin. He also sent out an inquisitive expression as their catch and throw drill was temporarily discontinued. "I don't know if I can say this, but—" he sent a trailing gaze at their pitcher who currently stood on the mound, ball in hand "—do you think something's '_different_' with Mihashi?" Sakaeguchi's tone was gentle, but his general curiosity was conveyed nonetheless.

Izumi nodded once, a little excitedly at that. "Yes," he briefly answered at first, following up Sakaeguchi's stare towards the other teen in question. "I've noticed something about him too." He continued. Izumi placed a finger under his chin, tapping it rhythmically upon his skin. "Actually, I would have said 'something's _wrong_' than 'different'," Izumi inserted as a comment, though Sakaeguchi was confused if it had been told for a humorous effect. Nonetheless, he was following up Izumi's train of thought. "I think he gazes at other people _too _much," he explained. "I mean, it feels really awkward that someone's gawking at you like _that _for a whole minute or so,"

"So I'm not really the only one…" Sakaeguchi groaned, his tone pitching up into that curious tone. His pupils landed to the side, studying Izumi for a while. "I just feel _really _uncomfortable when I talk back to him." He shared his thoughts.

"You're not the only one." Izumi responded. "I think Oki and Mizutani think the same—" both of them looked at the other two at the same time "—we're not the only one who talks to Mihashi regularly, you know?" He said, turning his head back to the blond.

"But I don't really think he's _aware_ of it, though," Sakaeguchi then answered. Izumi did not glance back, but Sakaeguchi was sure that he had the other teen's attention. "We all know how timid Mihashi is. He always seems fearful and he cries so easily." Sakaeguchi held a droll smile as he recounted those traits. Perhaps, even he could summarize that personality into one word: _crybaby_. Sakaeguchi left it at that as he continued. "But I don't see the reason why he would look to us _that _way." He told Izumi. "What if Mihashi don't just realize it himself?"

Izumi nodded again. "You have a point." He only said. "Well, I think I have some mannerisms too that I'm not aware myself," Izumi told Sakaeguchi, as he looked down at his hand, opening and clasping his fingers together. "Perhaps Mihashi does have the tendency to look at someone so _intensely_?" He rose, but it was obvious that he appeared a little doubtful about his own assumption. Sakaeguchi would have sniggered at the lopsided response, but the topic seemed to be much serious than a typical conversation would have had. "I just sounded a little bit unconvinced right there, didn't I?"

"I can't blame you," Sakaeguchi smiled a little. "It's just that I can't help but think about Mihashi once in a while." He admitted to the other teen, removing his cap off from his head to let the wind cool down his scalp. "For one, he came from a school from a faraway place." He said. He slowly turned his head to the other side of the clearing, his eyes landing on the figure of Nishiura's _second _pitcher. "And not just that. Mihashi came from that faraway place with another pitcher," he finally stated. "I can't just shake off the feeling that there's something about Mihashi and Kanō."

"It's a surprise, after all." Izumi answered Sakaeguchi. "They came from the same schools and both of them are pitchers." He started to expound. "They know each other so we can assume that they are friends even from middle school. However," Izumi straightened his gaze at Kanō, who was performing throw drills with Hanai, "the one thing that bothers me is the fact that Kanō's pushing Mihashi as the team's pitcher." He said. "That's _too_ kind of him," Izumi turned to Sakaeguchi. "Too kind, in fact, that I think that there's something wrong about it,"

Sakaeguchi was only silent as his eyes locked with Izumi's. They traded silent words with each other, but it was mostly Sakaeguchi digesting what Izumi just told him. Perhaps in a newly established baseball team, where there was still few members to count, there should be a point wherein one of the two pitchers should step back and give the position to the other one. With Nishiura with a mere _eleven _students in row, it was still too early for the team to focus on branching out. At some parts then, Sakaeguchi could agree with what Izumi wanted to say.

Then the implication flashed inside his mind. Sakaeguchi gave a slightly critical look back at Izumi. "Are you trying to say that Kanō is just letting Mihashi on his way because of Mihashi's personality?" He asked Izumi. He frowned a little bit. It meant that Izumi's remark had an acerbic sting than just a plain comment.

"Well, I can't seem to shake off wondering about Mihashi like you," Izumi just said, and expressed it more seriously than he intended. But Izumi was a stern thinker after all; he'd not want that trait away from him. "But I'm not trying to look at it that way, though," he added.

At that point, however, both teen's thoughts were redirected to Tajima, when the shorter male stood in front of them, with a ball in hand. He wore a wide grin, but both Sakaeguchi and Izumi understood that it was not aimed at them. They only followed Tajima's gaze, and saw that the energetic teen was trying to get Mizutani's attention from the other side. It seemed that Tajima was trying to do something 'weird' again, and found an opportunity in their catch and throw drills. Sakaeguchi only wore a smothered smile while Izumi watched the other teen.

"Mizutani!" Tajima yelled out, waving his mitted hand up high. "Catch this one!" He added as he prepared himself to throw the ball in his hand. He pulled his right arm to his back, putting enough force to propel the ball far. With a smile, Tajima stepped a little forward to shorten his distance a bit. But even the short teen did not saw the small rock that dented the ground he trod on. As his foot made contact with the stone, he lost his balance at the same time when threw the ball.

The ball sped as it gained momentum. The throw sure looked powerful. It was a nice throw to be exact, but, at its current trajectory it wasn't merely as amusing as it supposed to be. The ball continued to fly on its path… hurtling towards Mihashi's direction – against his _head_.

Sakaeguchi and Izumi realized it soon. With the current ball's speed, it would reach Mihashi even before a single second pass. Both of them roared out to warn Mihashi of the impending danger. But Mihashi was currently in a windup, already prepared to pitch the ball.

In that position, it would be hard for Mihashi to evade – it might even hurt him more if he'd try to avoid the ball. Sakaeguchi, Izumi and Tajima could only watch as the ball inched forward to the blond pitcher. With Tajima's cannon throw, the teens could only think of the pain and possible injury that Mihashi could have…

Mihashi tilted his forward in the nick of time. The ball missed him by mere inches. But what was more startling was the fact that Mihashi still continued on with his pitch, with him successfully throwing the ball towards his pitcher, Abe. They all looked mesmerized when the scene happened within in a mere blink of an eye.

When the Mihashi's ball connected with Abe's mitt, which resulted in a resounding thump, the blond pitcher slowly turned at where Izumi and Sakaeguchi were. Tajima had just pushed himself off the ground, dusting off the dirt that clung to his clothes. The three of them gave Mihashi an awestruck reaction; they were obviously entranced with what just ensued. Mihashi's eyes were still blank, but they certainly were sharp and cold; Sakaeguchi shuddered while Izumi tried his best to maintain his composure. The blond's gaze did not linger for long when he planted it to Tajima next.

"Tajima-kun…" He called the attention of the other teen. "I'm sorry that I didn't… catch your ball." He apologized – much to the trio's surprise and utter disbelief. "You see… I was pitching to Abe-kun… that's why I wasn't able to catch your throw." Mihashi told them. But the blond was distracted away from them when Abe called his attention. The ball that Abe caught was passed back to Mihashi; the battery continued on with their drill as if nothing happened. But Izumi, Sakaeguchi and Tajima only remained wordless at that time.

It was only when Mizutani trotted to their location that the silence was finally broken.

"Tell me you've seen that," Izumi quickly turned to Mizutani. The boy with the auburn-hazel hair, who just wiped off the sweat that ran down from his forehead, was clearly surprised with the sudden question.

"Yeah," Mizutani still answered though, knowing what was in Izumi's mind. "I was really worried that Mihashi would be hit by the ball Tajima threw—" he looked at his throwing partner for the day "—but it missed him by a fingerbreadth!" He said in an animated tone.

"Mihashi's lucky," Sakaeguchi said with a sigh. "I swear my heart almost jumped out of my chest when it happened!" He added, while his pupils landed on the oddly silent Tajima. He noticed that the latter's gaze were glued upon Mihashi's form, though the expression of surprise had been wiped off from his face. It was already replaced by a curious appearance. Tajima's quietness seemed to have caught the other guys' attention. "Tajima?" Sakaeguchi called out, wondering why the normally boisterous teen suddenly had his mouth tightly shut. Sakaeguchi looked at Izumi and Mizutani, wordlessly asking them if they had any idea about Tajima's silence.

"He's not _lucky_." Tajima finally voiced out, minus the enthusiastic tone. It was remarkable that even Tajima could speak out in that kind of manner, since he had presented himself as a typical airhead when they all met. It was the impression that Tajima left them, after all.

"What do you mean, Tajima?" Mizutani asked him.

"You heard him, right?" But it was not Tajima who responded to him. Izumi looked a little bothered after he seemed to have understood what ran inside Tajima's mind. "He apologized to Tajima. Mihashi thought that Tajima tried to throw the ball for him to _catch_."

Mizutani and Sakaeguchi gave out an openmouthed expression as the insinuation reached them as well. "But it's obvious that Tajima isn't throwing to Mihashi!" Mizutani said at first, but held to his tongue the other obvious meaning that was revealed to them.

"Mihashi _knew _that the ball was on its way to him," Sakaeguchi finally declared, to which Izumi nodded to. Sakaeguchi looked back at Tajima. Mihashi did not miss it _luckily_; Mihashi evaded it himself." Sakaeguchi spelled out the implication of the scene that happened before their very eyes. "But that's impossible,"

"It is!" Mizutani agreed. "We all saw that he was looking at Abe all the time."

"I know." Izumi added. "Even if Mihashi relies well on his peripheral vision, it's still impossible to see a ball coming from his blind side." He shared his thought, as he looked out to Tajima. In truth, he was hoping that Tajima would give out his deduction. The short teen was the first one to have noticed; it was proof that Tajima was rather an observant guy as opposed to his personality and mannerisms. If someone had to talk, then it would be best if the guy who pointed it out speak about it.

"Well then," Tajima finally regained his bouncy tone. He placed his hands behind his head as he grinned hugely towards the other males. "I'm now really fired up! I became more excited for us to play at Kōshien!" He yelled out as he slung an arm around Mizutani's shoulder. "Come on, Mizutani! Let's make sure we don't slack off! We need to practice and practice _strictly_!" He chuckled as he dragged the other teen across the clearing. Mizutani visibly looked confused at the sudden change in Tajima.

Izumi and Sakaeguchi only looked at each other as they pondered about the events that happened in front of them no more than three minutes ago. In fact, rather than be cleared out by talking about the person who they thought about, they only became more confused. They only knew one thing though – there was more to Mihashi than what met their eyes. For the better or worse, they couldn't just decipher yet. But perhaps, at the right moment, it would be revealed to them. Although if in the extreme cases that the truth won't come them, then Nishiura Baseball team would simply need to discover it by _themselves_.

**. . . . . . . . .**

But, in truth, it was Hanai who first noticed Izumi and Sakaeguchi's gazes some seconds ago.

He and Kanō partnered up with the morning's drill, at the specific request of Coach Momoe herself. Hanai partly understood why. Even though Mihashi had taken – was _forced_ to take – the shoe as the team's primary pitcher, they still needed Kanō to be kept in a good condition, just in certain cases. Perhaps the coach was being cautious about it, but Hanai knew it was only part of the team's overall preparation. It never hurt to be always prepared; in fact, it was often rewarded well in the future time to come.

Even though he was as curious as the other two, Hanai only ignored the stares as he focused on throwing the ball back to Kanō. Oddly enough, the other pitcher seemed oblivious of the eyes that were sent to him and went on with the drill as usual. The two of them were silent as they passed; the snapping sound of the ball hitting the gloves was the only noise that filled up the silence. Hanai didn't mind it though; at least they were doing something productive.

_But I think he won't mind a little conversation_, Hanai thought as he received the ball from the other pitcher, slightly amazed by the strength of the pitches. _Of course we didn't just use the Golden Week to train. We need to use this time to mingle with the team and to know each other too_, he reasoned as he prepared to throw the ball back. But as Hanai flexed his right hand to fling the ball to Kanō, he noticed that the shorter teen's attention was no longer at him and the ball; it took him a huge effort to stop his throw.

"He almost got hit," Kanō just said, which made Hanai looked at him interestedly. The pitcher raised a finger and pointed at where Mihashi and Abe were, and even saw Tajima, Izumi and Sakaeguchi. He was a little curious though as to why the other three wore the same staggered expressions.

"Who?" Hanai just rose. He didn't really see what happened, so he had no idea who Kanō was pointing out. He only observed as the scene unfolded – Mihashi seemed to have given an extensive stare the others near him. "Mihashi?" Hanai assumed, owning his supposition to the blond's obviously clumsy nature.

"Yes," Kanō answered. The pitcher's gaze remained over Mihashi for some seconds before he turned to Hanai. "But he can manage," he said and then frowned a little bit. "I guess," his tone sounded doubtful. "Let's continue," Kanō just said.

"You know—" Hanai replied as he threw "—you can call me an idiot for stating the obvious but—" he received the ball from Kanō "—you're always looking out for Mihashi." He told the other teen. Kanō caught the ball but he did not toss it back to the nearly-shaven head teen. It seemed that Hanai managed to brush a delicate subject.

"Well, I'd rather call you an idiot if you _don't _even notice that," Kanō answered, face downcast. "It's just… it's Mihashi we're talking about right here. I'm not going to blame you for looking at him that way, but it's clear that his personality's like _that_," he said. Hanai heard a subtle hint of defensiveness, but ignored it temporarily. "I'm just worried that if someone doesn't keep an eye on him – in one way or another – he'd get _hurt_." He explained and looked back at Hanai. The tall teen regarded the answer but followed it up as soon.

"He'd get hurt by _what_, Kanō?" Hanai asked. "It is baseball we're talking about, man." He pointed out. "I'm sure every one of us understands the risk we face whenever we play," Hanai added, as he watched Kanō's expression changed from that serious cast into a perplexed expression. The tall and lanky teen seemed to have guessed something from the reaction. "Unless you're talking about something else," he muttered softly. "Look," Hanai dropped his hands to his side. "We all understand that we have our own stories but at some times we need to let others know it too."

"What do you mean?" Kanō asked.

Hanai suddenly felt awkward, as demonstrated by the lightest shade of pink that blossomed on his cheeks. "I… I heard your conversation with Mihashi last night." Hanai unconsciously scratched his cheek. Kanō's eyes narrowed against him, but loosened up as soon. "I just overheard you; I really didn't mean to listen." Hanai added. "But though I know it's nothing that I should pry about, I'm just a little… _worried_ about it." He told the other teen. "It's not exactly going to stay in _private_, and you know that, Kanō." Hanai said, wondering if it was alright to voice his thoughts at all.

Kanō only sighed hard. "And there's another one who's got some real sense," he remarked, making Hanai increasingly uptight and conscious. "Don't worry," Kanō tried to ease up Hanai as soon as he noticed the latter's growing anxiety. "It's good to know that we got people in this team who _mind_ well." Kanō told him. "But it's not like I have many choices to do." He said, turning their conversation back to the current matter. "As much as possible, I just want to help Mihashi, but I don't want him to become too dependent to others."

Hanai was wordless at first. "So, in short, you really just want to help Mihashi." He said. "It's nice and all for you to do that." Hanai looked at the blond standing at the center of the field. "You're pushing him to be the team's pitcher because it's one of the ways to help build his confidence." Hanai saw Kanō gawked at him, proof that he had caught that part correct. "Well, in a sense, I think it would also be best for him. But have you realized what Mihashi's been thinking about it?" Hanai asked. "I think that was _what_ exactly happened last night."

Kanō only beheld Hanai in silence. The taller teen sighed before he turned his full visage back to Kanō. "I'm not an expert in stuff like this, you know?" He only said at first. "When you push someone ahead, make sure you don't push him towards the _dark_." Hanai said figuratively. "I think that even though you really wanted to help him, you must still _guide_ him. Mihashi thinks that you don't want to become a pitcher anymore because you push him _too_ much." Hanai explained. "It's really easy to misunderstand that."

Kanō was stunned. Of course, Mihashi would misunderstand his intention. He was too fed up in making Mihashi _want_ to pitch again; he was too focused on making Mihashi a real ace pitcher. But Kanō missed a very important point – did he even considered Mihashi when he thought of those things? Ren was blind. But Kanō pushed him forward without even realizing that important fact. Did Kanō expect Mihashi to move on forward when the opportunity came to them? He expected that, of course, which made him insensitive to Mihashi's feelings. Kanō thought that it was best for Mihashi, and what was best would make Mihashi feel happy again.

It was simple. The closer one was to something, the harder was it for him to see it. When people were already on the path to their dreams, it was when they could easily forget those which stayed beside them, blinded by the thing they reached out for. When Kanō thought that the ace position that he could give to Mihashi was already so _near_, he then lost sight of Mihashi. Kanō considered _what _could make Mihashi happy, without even considering Mihashi himself. Kanō felt like a total idiot. His expression gradually softened as he refaced Hanai.

"Alright," Kanō said, sounding so bushed. "I'll admit I made a mistake." He added. "I'm going to apologize to Mihashi for what happened last night." Kanō said in monotone, but Hanai was sure that it was sincere statement. "But it's not like I'm going to stop in pushing him to be our ace."

"Sure, sure," Hanai chuckled. "Like what I've said, I think it's best for him." He repeated. The taller teen scrunched his nose up. "I understand what happened between you and Mihashi, but do you have any idea as to why the battery's acting so… _awkward_?" He asked.

"No," Kanō answered. But it was also the same question that he had that morning. He was worried sick for Mihashi, but Kanō already knew that Abe would probably standby for his blond friend for the rest of the day. However, much to his confusion, it seemed that even Abe seemed to have a problem approaching Mihashi. It was not really evident, but Kanō was knowledgeable enough to understand those kinds of things, especially when Mihashi was involved. It also meant that Hanai was particularly wary of it as well.

"Hanai," Kanō called out. "I have a favor to ask you,"

* * *

He was alone, sitting on the stump previously used in chopping off wood. Abe cleaned his mitts, pushing his fingers to the littlest of corners to wipe off the dirt that clung to it. With the moon barely lighting up the night and his surrounding, the catcher relied on the illumination provided by the light from the house. It was dark, yes. But years of repeating the same task enabled him to do it flawlessly. Plus, he didn't really need some light as he basked in solitude. Sometimes, it felt good for him to be left out alone.

Nonetheless, it wouldn't be surprising to know if his teammates thought that he was being stagey or dramatic. Abe did want the chance to think things through, and being in a room packed with energetic guys won't blend well with his contemplation. Although he didn't mind being called as such, Abe did care about _not _being the center of attention. It was just plain awkward and almost _stupid_; in fact, who would even turn their interest on him, a catcher who did not even know what his role was? Abe seethed as he rubbed his mitt harder. It was clear that he was still really affected by his coach's words.

It was not uncommon to question one's self, Abe knew that. But Abe was concerned that it was beginning to affect him as a catcher. As a person who took in baseball seriously as well as enjoyed it truly, Abe was baffled about the meaning of that message. _I don't know what a catcher is about, she said_, Abe stated in thought. Once in a while he'd ask himself on how well he performed as the catcher and for most of the times Abe found and supposed that he was quite capable a catcher himself. But the question actually rung more than just how he was as a catcher; it was questioning his identity as a catcher and how _worthy _he was for that position. He understood the specifics of the catcher; analyzed them as he analyzed his opponents. But then it would seem that endpoint was that Abe could not even truly analyze _himself_.

For sure, Kanō noticed him. Ever since the other pitcher revealed the truth about Mihashi's extremely precise pitches, Kanō had been observing him much intensely than before. Kanō knew something was wrong; his _awkward_ interaction with Mihashi had been proof of that. In fact, even Hanai seemed aware of the situation – Abe was glad that the others were not as perceptive like them – since the two of them kept on giving him and Mihashi some glances. Abe didn't know if Mihashi was aware of it, since the blond just kept on pitching the way Abe told him.

'_Abe-kun… Kanō-kun told me… that he taught you the advanced signs_,' Mihashi told him that morning, pulling Abe from his thoughts. '_Do you want… to practice them?_' The blond asked, and Abe couldn't agree more; the sooner that he got used to it, the better.

But for Mihashi to _initiate _the conversation, that was one thing that bothered Abe. It just made him realized how muddled his mind was, how confounded he was just because of that simple statement from his coach. _This is bad_, Abe thought, scraping off the mud that solidified on his mitt. _I need to think straight, or else my game-calling is going to suffer_, the catcher said in thought, trying his best to escape from the questions just for that one night. He knew – and all of them knew – how their game could be affected just because of his inner conflict.

"How was Mihashi-kun?" Coach Momoe's voice came up from his side. Abe did not even realize that his female coach had come to see him, but he was not totally surprised. He knew – in one way or another – that their coach would eventually talk to him once again about those words she had told him.

"He did as you told him." He answered, whipping his eyes back to his mitt. He bent down to his side and opened up his sports bag, putting the item inside together with his stuff. He fastened the bag closed, with the zipping sound negating the uneasy silence between them.

"I see." Coach Momoe answered and watched how the catcher fetched his bag and stood up from the stump. The teen did not even mutter a word as he started to walk away from the female coach. Momoe only pocketed her hands. She didn't find Abe disrespectful, since she knew the exact reason why the catcher acted stubborn. "It's mysterious how it works, but when you put together a team there's always one or two good ones who join." She said and watched how Abe stopped on his place. She only continued, with her hazel-brown eyes still plastered over the teen. "But with only two good kids, we can't win. If we're the same as the others around us, we can't win." She told Abe, and briefly wondered if the younger one was interested with her thoughts.

Abe only looked back at her. His dark orbs with the hidden tint of green denoted his serious demeanor but Momoe took that as a sign that the catcher was listening to her. It was apparent that Abe had no attempts to speak back, but she was fine with that; she had a lot of things to say to the teen. Momoe sucked in some air before she continued.

"It's unmistakable that Tajima is a star." She said. "His talent is in a different world and he has the actual performance record hitting cleanup for the Arakawa Sea Breams." She maintained her gaze to Abe. "And then Hanai. He's good enough to be on the varsity squad at most schools." She paused for a second as she deepened her gaze to the teen some distance in front of her. "After him, it's you, Abe-kun!" She smiled a little, as she fisted her right hand in a show of encouragement. "If you become the third one, we can—"

"I don't think that's possible." Abe cut her off. He faced away from her, clearly discomfited with the coach's statements.

"Why not?" Coach Momoe responded.

"You said it yourself," Abe immediately replied before his shut his eyes tight. "I don't understand what a catcher is about, right?"

"You'll learn it eventually." She told him.

"I don't think that I don't get it!" Abe said in a louder tone. "There are different types of catchers. Maybe the type you want is different from me." He finally voiced out, the concern that bothered his thoughts.

"I'm not talking about that," Coach Momoe smiled.

"Then what are you talking about?" Abe felt really troubled right now, and his coach's buoyant responses were not making him feel any better. It was the best time to confront her about it; to prolong the matter would only make him more confused in the long run. Abe made a sound similar to a growl, but it wasn't loud enough for Coach Momoe to hear. "I don't get it!" He added, conveying his entire uncertainty about the matter – uncertainty to himself and to his position as catcher.

A warm sensation crept over his hand. Abe yelped when he saw his coach's hand covering his own. At a sudden, his face brimmed red while his eyes remained wide opened, fixated at the sight of the female caressing his hand so abruptly. "It's okay," Coach Momoe said, her voice so sure and soothing, but at same time encouraging. "You'll understand." Abe muttered some incoherent grunts. "You'll get it." His coach only added, strengthening her grasp. Her gaze never faltered as she watched the teen deep into the eye, as if trying to say that it would truly happen.

They remained in that position for some seconds. Abe wasn't really able to mutter anything because of the surprise that overtook him. Finally regaining his composure, Abe's cheek sported a deeper shade of red as he asked, "W-What do I need to do?" He tried to avoid looking back at her piercing gaze.

Coach Momoe slowly removed her hands from Abe's and laced them both together. "Do what I just did to you to Mihashi-kun," she told him, giving the teen an amused expression. She noticed that the surprise never left Abe's countenance even at that time.

"Do… what you just did…?" Abe repeated, sounding doubtful and unsure.

"Yup," she answered. "Do it." Coach Momoe gave out a final smile. "You'll find out lots of things."

* * *

And when Coach Momoe told them that, it was Kanō and Mihashi who looked most devastated.

It happened just as soon as all of them settled down after dinner. Coach Momoe and Shiga-sensei said that they'd introduce a new type of training to boost their performance. Of course, any kind of training was not unwelcomed, but to think that there was that kind of drill… Kanō quickly dreaded that he even felt excited about it. He looked worriedly at Mihashi who started to quiver as well. _This is bad_, Kanō said in thought. _If this continues, they might discover that Ren is blind!_

Their coach said that they were going to have some _eye training_.

She explained to them how vision was so important in coordination with muscle movement. Coach Momoe explained that it was possible for them to take in a visual picture of a scene in a single glimpse and at the same time improve their peripheral vision. Rather than focusing on a sole view, they could improve their vision exponentially by taking advantage of the real extent of their eyes.

The ever-energetic Tajima – as expected – volunteered to have the first try of the activity. But before he approached the coach, he sent a good-natured grin towards Mihashi, which Kanō quickly noticed. The latter knew that their blond pitcher did not even saw that. However, the matter at hand was still at large; forget about the misunderstanding between him and Mihashi. Just right now, Nishiura was already so close into knowing Mihashi's real condition. Kanō's frown only fell deeper when Tajima executed the drill almost perfectly.

The goal was simple: recite the numbers written on the panel while pointing at them at the same in the fastest possible time. Tajima completed it within 7.9 seconds – almost too good a time. But it just showed how exceptional Tajima was, and it also managed to raise their coach's interests even more. It wasn't really a problem, but there remained that one great complication to hide Mihashi's real problem: the catcher, _Abe_. Even though how awkward he was to Mihashi that morning, the catcher still stayed with the pitcher; Abe made sure that Mihashi was all but focused as they practiced together.

And, right now, Kanō's face paled as Abe prepared the panel, resting it over his lap, while Mishashi sat exactly in front of him. "I insist," Abe said. "I mean, there's _nothing_ wrong with it, right?" He told the two pitchers. He set the timer and looked at Mihashi straight in the eye when he finished. "Are you ready, Mihashi?"

* * *

- **Chapter End** -


	6. Sacrificing what's important

Chapter and poem written for our beloved pitcher, Mihashi Ren.

* * *

To the one I loved and hated  
One who always stayed and waited  
If there are two words which are due  
Then I can only say "Thank you,"

You often pushed me to the ground  
Feeling hurt, I then cried and frowned  
Yet you give your hand and help me  
To tell me what I need to see

**...**

* * *

**Chapter 6  
**_**Sacrificing what's important**_

* * *

Sweat beaded down his face as Kanō kept a wary glance at Abe, while the catcher wrote down the numbers onto the small white board panel. The tip of the marker often made that unnerving screeching sound, which only made Kanō fluster even more. The pitcher had no qualms in participating in any exercises that improved their skills, but the one presented before them was simply out of the question. Kanō would flick his pupils to his side to check on Mihashi, and he knew that his friend suffered the same thoughts and feelings.

They hadn't talk yet since they squabbled – though it certainly felt more like a one-sided bicker to Kanō – last night, but he was sure that he and Mihashi were one in both mind and spirit about the problem they faced right now. Kanō hadn't expected their coach to let them work on an eye exercise. It would take a lot of effort and excuse for him to sidetrack Abe from the drill – heck, it might even need a _miracle_ for him to pull it off. There was no question that Abe's suspicion would grow into soaring heights if he tried to stall once more.

Kanō noticed Abe pulled up the marker from the panel and then their eyes met. It was obvious that Abe was keeping the same degree of attention towards Kanō, perhaps being watchful of his moves. Kanō tried to veer away from the gaze, understanding that Abe's ideas still ran wild inside his head. If he was to do something once more to steer Abe from Mihashi, Kanō recognized that it would only feed Abe's curiosity even more. As the days passed by, Abe (and even Hanai) were keeping their eyes over their blond pitcher – something that Kanō had to work on.

"You're not doing this because you want to be placed on the top of the order, are you?" Kanō suddenly asked, both for the purpose of distracting the other teen and discerning his thoughts. He only received a blank expression from the catcher.

"I can't say," Abe answered. "The batting order is something chosen by will or whim, but it affects the offense as importantly as how we place the players in the defensive positions." He answered neutrally. "I'm not saying I don't prefer the top order, but as long as I know what to do, I don't mind the placement." He said.

_For someone like Abe, I have to say that he's a player who needs to be in the top of the order_, Kanō thought, although, as he considered the other male's response, Abe did have an acceptable point. He already had proven how astute his thinking was, and he expected that Abe carried it over when he played as batter. His mental strength was nowhere near petty; Abe was someone who could be placed in any position as long as the game called it. _But is he trying to stall me on this one too?_ Kanō asked himself.

"But I'm sure that Mihashi would be placed in bottom of the order–" both he and Abe looked at the blond pitcher "–because of his role for tomorrow's game." Kanō said, placing his gaze back at Abe. "I'm not saying that this is not important, but–" Kanō bit his lips "–I don't want Mihashi's _eyes_ to get strained after having the afternoon drills." He reasoned to the catcher. The latter gave him a long stare, his pupils dropping down once on the panel where he had written the numbers. After he placed a same gaze at Mihashi, he turned to Kanō and said,

"I insist." Kanō felt dismayed and nervous at the same time. "I'm just going to do it once, and I'll tell the rest to coach." Abe mentioned. He tucked the panel atop his legs, hands already prepared to flash it once Mihashi was ready to begin. "I mean," he whipped his eyes towards the wary Kanō, "there's nothing wrong with it, _right_?" He said, adding an amused intonation at his last word. Kanō remarked him silently. Abe pulled his eyes away and placed them back at Mihashi. "Are you ready, Mihashi?" He asked.

But Abe noticed the expression of apprehension practically written over the pitcher's face. Once again, he saw the vacant look within his piercing eyes. His silver irises were surely striking, to the point that Abe felt uneasy when he stared back to Mihashi's gazes. But, even if little by little, Abe felt he was getting used to seeing Mihashi's unmitigated looks. Right now, he could see the signs of worry and concern, of fear and discomfort floating mad on his almost lifeless orbs. "Mihashi," Abe called his name once more, but he was still unresponsive. Abe leaned forward and looked at the blond. "Mihashi!"

Mihashi was visibly startled. He almost literally jumped from his spot as Abe's voice suddenly came into him from so close. His eyes were wide as he looked at Abe, while his face contorted into that fear-stricken look. "I-I'm sorry…" The pitcher muttered.

Abe merely scowled. He could noticeably see the telltale signs of exhaustion that blemished the pitcher. The lines under Mihashi's eyes were considerably darker and he would often loll down if left alone. It had been hard to realize since Mihashi still perfected his pitches, but Abe had discovered it when they started practicing the four-sectioned pitches.

"Are you sleeping at night?" Abe asked him.

"Yep," It was Mihashi's quick mumble. The catcher appeared unconvinced.

"You're lying," Abe speedily replied, eyes still fixed at the blond pitcher. He removed the panel off his lap – Abe noticed Kanō breathed gratefully at that – and focused his attention back to the pitcher. "Are you concerned about tomorrow's game?" _Or are you concerned about something else?_ Abe added in thought, as he watched Mihashi bent his head down, his soft strands of gold covering his eyes. Abe heaved out a nearly exasperated sigh.

"Mihashi, do you enjoy being in the baseball club?" Abe only had half of the rights to ask that question – and he still felt a little awkward because of those words that came from their coach – but, right now, it concerned him as much as the game for tomorrow. "You're always nervous during practice too." He only continued, looking at how Mihashi silently whimpered. "We're four days into this camp, but I don't feel like I've gotten any closer to you." Abe almost scoffed. Apparently, he was only trying to because it was the only way to ensure his _influence_ over the pitcher. Even though it was slightly sickening, he had to sugarcoat his words just to make it sound more pleasing to the ears. _Just remember you're that pitcher who throws slow pitches_, Abe mentally remarked. He felt a wave of nausea washed over him. _Just what am I thinking…?_

"When I talk to you, you don't really answer me." Abe maintained, twisting his head from the blond, watching the other guys instead. _That's fine for me, but it would hurt our plays in the long run_, Abe also added. His eyes narrowed a little as another thought appeared inside his head. "And, just now, I was concerned about you, but you lied to me." He said, his pupils jumping to the sides and locking into Mihashi's figure. But despite his overall displeasure for handling their pitcher, Abe was as little bit as concerned for him, even so when the other pitcher, Kanō, was particularly protective of Mihashi. It was as if Mihashi was just as fragile as he appeared; snap him once and he'd break apart so easily. _And because Coach told me to look after him, I'm doing my best to have a conversation_. But he was alarmed when Mihashi sobbed once, and then tears flowed out from his eyes.

"This looks as if I'm bullying you, you know?" Abe quickly reprimanded him, his voice much gaudier than before. He extended his hands and lunged for the panel once more. "I'll say this just in case. But tomorrow, don't throw at full strength. Just pitch according to my signs… _or else we're going to lose_." Abe positioned the white board panel again. "Just one trial, Mihashi, and then go ahead and rest." Abe ignored Kanō's drones from beside him. Readjusting the stopwatch, Abe watched as Mihashi slowly wiped off the tears from his eyes and—

"Mihashi," a shadow loomed over them. Abe and Kanō looked at the person who interrupted them and saw that it was Hanai. The tall teen cringed at Abe's seeming glare, but otherwise pretended that he wasn't affected or something. "I heard from Kanō that you always bring a spare stopwatch with you." Hanai said as he showed them one. "Ours isn't working and Momoe-san didn't have any replacement." He added. "Care to let us borrow yours for a while?" He asked the blond pitcher who gradually turned his face towards him. Hanai looked curiously when Mihashi looked like as if a wreck.

"Go on," Kanō suddenly spoke up. "We know how important this drill is so you should let them borrow your stopwatch, Mihashi." The other pitcher nudged his friend. Abe landed a cautious pair of eyes to the other teen, but he did not speak outright.

Mihashi gave Kanō and Abe a nervous glance, before he slowly stood up and followed Hanai up to their rooms, where their bags were transferred into. The blond pitcher managed to slink a questioning stare to Kanō before he and Hanai vanished into the staircases.

"If I were that _stupid_, I would say that you just don't want me to speak to Mihashi." Abe voiced out, pulling Kanō out of his trance. The catcher glanced to his side and met Kanō's slightly apologetic eyes. "I know you're aware, but this isn't the first time you tried something to let Mihashi get away." Abe pointed out. Now that Mihashi was not with them, Abe could speak more freely without inviting any mystified questions and stares. "I couldn't help but think that there's a secret you and Mihashi are trying to hide." He finally stated his suspicion. Kanō remained silent for a while.

"And if I had the impression that you were really that _stupid_, I would answer '_I'm not sure what you're talking about, Abe_.'" Kanō answered, directly confronting Abe's skeptical remark. "But you're smart, so it's obvious that you'd know of it." Kanō added. "But can you blame me if I want to hide a secret?" He asked, but he made his tone soft and devoid of any unnatural emotion. "I'm aware that you're bothered with the way I'm trying to hide things, but I can't still say that I trust you enough." He told the other teen, though their eyes were plastered over Momoe-san who suddenly stood in the middle of the room.

"_Minna_," her strong feminine voice attracted their attentions, with some of the boys temporarily taking their eyes off from their current exercise. Kanō and Abe only regarded with half-attention, since they were in the middle of a particularly serious conversation. She flashed them a smile as she regarded each one of them with a fleeting glance – though Kanō did not miss the slightly lingering gaze Abe received. "I know I informed you that we'll be having our first practice game." Everyone nodded. "Well, I'm happy to inform you that we're having the practice match with _Sakitama High School _tomorrow and…"

"_Tomorrow_," Kanō said, which made Abe look back at him. "Perhaps, you'll know something tomorrow." He added, which made the catcher looked baffled and curious as the same time. The two of them had finally ignored the coach who continued to speak in front of the team, since the two of them were too focused on each other. Kanō slowly glanced at his side, eyes dropping over Abe's figure. "I'll let you know some things tomorrow and perhaps everything else will rest upon _how _you accept it… or not." The other pitcher said obscurely. For the rest of night, Abe's mind was puzzled about what Kanō meant by that.

* * *

_**The next day**_

Nishiura's Baseball team ogled at the sight in front of them. Sakitama High School might not be well-known in comparison to those famed schools, but at least they could pride themselves on how they gave emphasis to sports. Though the field where they stood in right now was not dedicated to baseball alone, much of it was designated for their most favorite sport, a clear testament on how they gave attention for the game. Perhaps Hanai was correct to assume that once they started comparing this to their field back in Nishiura, the difference would be endless. Wasting no time after, Coach Momoe called for a warm-up.

They had practiced together days before this one, traded throws and catches under the blazing sun. At one point, Abe was just so certain that he'd finally discovered the most ideal pitcher – one who'd throw so accurately, so precisely, yet would never shake off _his _signs – that he felt that victory was the only option for Nishiura. He felt glad that Mihashi would pitch just the way Abe wanted it; his calls were certain and Mihashi had no reason to fear. Just as long as he was able to _control _the pitcher, Abe would have no problem with their battery.

But, right now, he could feel agitation. The ball he'd receive from the blond felt heavy, as if Mihashi was able to deliver his very emotions with his pitches. He only looked as his mitt, then bounded his eyes back to Mihashi, who – as soon noticed the brewing tension – cowered and covered his head protectively with his hands. Abe only frowned at his antic. _It's not that he's throwing at full speed_, Abe said in thought. _He's just so nervous right now_, he concluded and began to approach their pitcher. Mihashi shrunk as Abe closed on him.

"Miha—"

"_Mihashi_," a voice called out from behind them. Mihashi and Abe looked at the source and saw Kanō walked towards them. Kanō traded a brief smile to Abe – the catcher felt _worried _by that unusual gesture – before he turned to his friend way back from middle school. "Come on, I'm going to tell you something." Kanō offered his hand in front of the blond teen, but Mihashi only seemed clueless about what his friend spoke about. Suddenly, Kanō lunged forward, grabbed Mihashi's hand and started to drag his friend pitcher away from the bullpen. "Sorry, Abe," he managed to say. "I'm going to borrow Mihashi for a bit."

Abe only looked at him suspiciously, but he thought that it might be a way for Kanō to lighten up Mihashi's feelings considerably. Given that they were friends before, Kanō could give Mihashi a breather, and make him less nervous. At least Kanō was doing something for Mihashi, Abe pointed it himself. He still didn't know how to handle Mihashi right now, and it wouldn't hurt if he let Kanō do the rest. But, eventually, Mihashi would have to stop relying to Kanō… because Abe was the catcher. He and Mihashi were the battery.

_Right?_

**. . . . . . . . .**

Kanō pulled Mihashi to the sides, in a certain clearing adjacent to the field and Sakitama's nearest school building. Until that point, Mihashi had no idea why Kanō asked for him so suddenly. He'd only let his friend tug over his arm as he guided him to that particular place. Mihashi stared ahead, even though visionless he was. He waited for the other teen to speak, to explain why he had to take him away from the field, from Nishiura's sights. But Kanō's silence made Mihashi worried; the blond pitcher could only frown at his friend's wordlessness.

He was pulled out of his musings when he bumped into Kanō, unaware that the latter had stopped treading. Mihashi's face flattened against Kanō's shoulder. As he recovered, the pitcher sent an inquisitive expression back to his friend and placed his free hand over his face, touching it on reflex, before his whole body twitched into that familiar gesture. "I-I'm s-s-sorry, Shū-chan," Mihashi was quick to apologize. "I'm not… l-looking at where I… s-step." He explained, bowing his head towards the other pitcher. But Mihashi's attention was caught when he heard Kanō chuckled after he said his sorry.

"That's fine," Kanō said, between his huffs of laughter. But standing as close to him right now, Mihashi could easily hear the mild change in Kanō's tone. He sounded nervous, and his chuckles were dry, as if his merriment was stripped off its hilarity. Kanō spoke in a tone that made Mihashi feel uneasy. Mihashi could practically feel that something was wrong with his friend. The blond pitcher knew Kanō was trying to hide it, but Mihashi had already lost his sense of color. There were only black and white; there were only truth and lies. "I'm sorry I didn't inform you." Kanō said.

"Shū-chan," Mihashi called out the other teen's name, and he heard a silent whimper from Kanō. Mihashi's frown had grown even deeper. "Is there… something wrong?" He finally asked his friend. They had been through the tough times and it was not the time for them to stall. Back then, the two of them were the sources of their own strength; Mihashi held on to Kanō as his _savior_, while Kanō kept Mihashi's hope as his _bridge_ to move on. "I won't feel good… if you're not… f-feeling well too." He told his friend. Kanō only laughed once more, only to stop midway with a raspy snivel.

"I know you're just nervous, Ren," Kanō maintained that stern voice. Mihashi looked at him – looked at where he heard his last words – and held that solemn grimace. The blond pitcher looked at his hand as Kanō started to squeeze on it. "I know you're just really, _really_ nervous, Ren." Kanō repeated. Kanō just grinned wide, knowing that Mihashi wouldn't see it. But, at the same time, just as the sides of his eyes crinkled as his lips curled up, tears suddenly brimmed over his lids. "And I'm _sorry _if I can't help you with that,"

Mihashi shuddered slightly when he heard that word from Kanō. '_Sorry_,' _Shū-chan said_, Mihashi thought as he retraced his pupils back to head level, as if he could still see Kanō with his eyes. It was the one word that Mihashi had requested him not to use, not when they already started to heal. Mihashi only felt saddened even more when Kanō muttered that word to him, he only felt pained when his friend tried to apologize to him. There was no reason for Shū-chan to apologize. Why would someone even apologize if that person was faultless to begin with?

"Shū-chan, I—" Mihashi started to give a response when he felt Kanō's gripped over his hand tightened even more. It was as if Shū-chan was pouring all of his feelings into that hold. It felt that he did not want to let go, but, at the same time, Mihashi could sense the feeling of misery Shū-chan hid inside his heart. The blond pitcher looked back at Kanō before he stared yet again at their hands – Shū-chan's hand cradling his own. Mihashi slowly placed his free hand over Kanō's and held it warmly.

But Kanō immediately let go, suddenly surprising Mihashi.

"It's the end of the line… for _me_," Kanō spoke as soon, voice turned cold and sharp. Mihashi suddenly froze upon hearing the harsh tone from his friend, his eyes still plastered over his hands that Shū-chan abruptly pushed away. "I finally realized the truth. I want to help you, Ren, but life is just _unfair_." He started to tell the blond pitcher. "I understand that only one of us can truly achieve the dreams we've made." He added, watching Mihashi listened impassively. "Because one has to _throw_ away his dreams…" Kanō said. "I'm going to _give up_ pitching, Ren."

Mihashi's silvery orbs widened upon hearing those words. The blond pitcher sent a confused look over Kanō, but it was obvious that he had already begun to _crumble_. Tears easily welled over Mihashi's eyes, which threatened to spill at any moment those seconds. Mihashi felt his heart sunk as he heard that, as his knees trembled when those words registered in his mind. _What is S-Shū-chan saying?_ Mihashi denied in question. He perfectly understood what Kanō meant, but when one could not _accept_, one had to _deny_.

"I'll stop pitching because I don't deserve it." Kanō spoke, observing how Mihashi's expression turned into a clear picture of devastation. "I don't deserve it because I am the reason why you ended up like _this_. I don't deserve to pitch because all I did was to watch you break until you can't go on any further!" Kanō said loud. Even though how much he tried to hold it out, he could not stop the tears from forming over his eyes. But Kanō steeled himself, refusing to let it fall down, to run over his face. No… not at that point. Mihashi had to know first before he could let himself be drowned in sadness.

"But… B-But…" Mihashi responded, stuttering on his words. Without knowing it, his tears drove over his cheeks. Mihashi could not understand what he truly felt, but he knew that his entirety was starting collapse, one by one, little by little. His heart ached. His chest felt heavy. But he did not know if he was sad. He did not know if he was lonely. All he knew was that heavy feeling on his heart – a pain that settled over him, a pain that he could not push away. He was in pain. Mihashi was hurt.

"Y-You're h-h-happy when… you pitch, Shū-chan!" Mihashi continued to speak, which made his eyes spew out more fluid down over his face. Now, Mihashi knew he was crying and it was becoming harder to speak. His sobs started to take over his speech. "I know how h-happy you a-a-are… when you throw the b-ball. I know how h-happy you are when you s-strike out a batter!" He continued to say as he started to approach Kanō. Mihashi reached his hands forward, trying to find where Kanō was at that moment. "Shū-chan, please d-don't… tell me… that," Mihashi pleaded. "I don't w-want to hear it. I know you're happy when—"

"Stop talking as if you really know _happiness_!" Kanō's angry voice roared out. A pair of hands suddenly shoved Mihashi away, effectively pushing the pitcher skidding to the ground. Kanō Shūgo looked down at Mihashi; his eyes gave out an accusing stare against his friend. "Don't speak as if you know all! Don't tell me about happiness when you don't know the full truth behind it!" He spat. "Happiness doesn't come because you wanted it! Happiness only exists because of the _sacrifices_ made by the people around you!" Kanō said angrily.

"I'm going to stop pitching because that's the only way for me to repay all the happiness I took from _you_." Kanō continued. "You aren't the only one who suffered; I also felt all the sadness because of what happened. And seeing you root for me even now only made me _guiltier_ than before," he told the other pitcher as his face scrunched up in sorrow. "Did you think you can make me happy because you wanted me to _continue_ pitching? Did you think you can give me back all happiness because you wanted the _best_ for me?" Kanō asked him those pointed questions, only half-aware of the pain that thronged deep within Mihashi. "It did not even make me happy! It only made me feel that I'm the one to be blamed!" Kanō clutched on his jersey, just over his chest. "In fact, it felt that _you_ are the one blaming me, Ren!" He reproached him. "Just because you are worried for me, you are pushing me to pitch my best, to enjoy pitching once more… stop _joking _me!" He maintained in that reproving tone. "All it told me was on how much of a _failure_ I really am… and how much _you_ want to say that I am at fault."

He paused for a while as he saw Mihashi knelt down over the ground, eyes pouring those clear streams of tears. The blond pitcher was wordless as he sent those silvery orbs to him. Mihashi's mouth quivered open, but he was only silent. Kanō could feel how much he had _broken_ Mihashi with those words, but Kanō felt he had just _died_ for breaking his friend down. If someone was to play the _fool_, then Kanō would take that part. If someone had to play the role of the _villain_, who else would best play it but him?

"But perhaps you're right to blame me," Kanō worded. "If I had not been there, then it would have not happened," the brown-haired pitcher inched forward, towards Mihashi. He stopped upon reaching the spot just beside the pitcher, who was still on his knees. "I'll not be surprised if it crossed your mind once." He said, with his voice rather soft. "I'll not be surprised if Ren even thought that it all happened because Ren was the _better_ pitcher than I," Kanō said, knowing that it was the breaking point. Just as when he finished, Mihashi finally broke down, as planted his head down the ground and wailed out loud.

Kanō gave him a final glance, before he stepped away from the blond pitcher. As he trod forward, he heard the bush rustled in front of him, before it revealed the catcher's figure. It only meant that Abe was listening from that distance, a turn of event that Kanō already _expected_ to happen. Kanō watched as Abe glared hard against him; his stare was enough to inform Kanō how displeased Abe was. But there was nothing for him to answer to… except for one.

Kanō stepped once again, but Abe move to the side, apparently blocking his path. Abe's greyish orbs demanded for an explanation. It was just plain _damn _clear that Kanō aimed to destroy Mihashi's morale. It was their first game as a team, and it surely made Abe suspicious of Kanō's motives. Why did Kanō tell those harsh words to Mihashi? Perhaps it was the grand question that had been formed just from watching the scene unfold. Abe was disconcerted with what happened, and he wouldn't let this farce simply pass, not without receiving any explanation.

But Kanō only muttered some words… and Abe was surprise-stricken. As his gaze faltered away from Kanō after hearing that statement from the latter, Abe did not even move to stop the other pitcher from leaving. Kanō slowly moved away from them, away from the devastation he had made. And Abe was just so startled that he hadn't even stopped him. After realizing it for some seconds, the catcher made his way towards Mihashi's side. Abe only stared at the pitcher at first. He slowly dropped down beside him and started to calm the pitcher down.

**. . . . . . . . .**

'_Hanai, I have a favor to ask you_,' Kanō told him that yesterday. Since Hanai was partly curious and wanted to get to know Nishiura's other pitcher more, he accepted as soon as Kanō asked him. He had no problem with that. In fact, he was slightly glad that Kanō was starting to interact with them after those two long weeks. He had really noticed that Kanō was practically glued over Mihashi during those days, and he couldn't deny the thought that Kanō was just too _protective_ of Mihashi. Well, given on how Kanō acted after he and Mihashi 'quarreled', Hanai could say that it truly affected Kanō as much as it affected Mihashi as well.

But all Hanai discovered was the proof of Kanō's concern for Mihashi. He was surprised when Kanō asked him: if there would come a situation wherein Mihashi was obviously wedged between Abe's _stressful_ words, Hanai just needed to _butt in_ and _save _Mihashi from the awkward scene. He felt flabbergasted about the _elaborate_ imagination Kanō had, but when the latter told him that it was _bound _to happen, Hanai only nodded his head in response. _Why would Abe even do that Mihashi?_ He just thought that afternoon, but it was soon answered when nighttime came.

It did appear that Abe was bullying Mihashi. When Kanō's eyes landed on him, Hanai quickly understood that it was the signal for him to move in. Excusing himself from Mizutani, Hanai quickly made up a reason for him to interrupt Abe from his frightening 'confrontation' of the blond pitcher. '_Mihashi, I heard from Kanō that you always bring a spare stopwatch with you…_' And his next set of lies came following his first. Hanai tried his best to keep that straight line over his face, as not to make Abe suspicious of him.

And that went well. He had taken Mihashi away from Abe. Perhaps even Hanai thought that he only did that to help their pitcher. Kanō did tell him that he was going to apologize to Mihashi, and Hanai realized that with Abe practically seething just by Mihashi's throat their pitcher would end up distracted by the catcher. _At least let them make up first_, Hanai thought, mentally stating it to Abe. The catcher had to wait for the things to become better once more.

But Hanai never imagined of what Kanō just did to Mihashi right now.

"So, do I need to give you a round of applause?" Hanai spoke to him, though his eyes were directed at the particular teen _crying _in the center of the clearing. "Or do I have to _thank_ you for destroying the morale of our pitcher for this game?" He added, obviously sounding sarcastic just from the tone of his voice. The tallest teen from Nishiura's team had his arms crossed over his chest, as he stood from a certain distance away from the spot where the scene happened. He turned towards Kanō when the other teen finally stopped on his steps.

"You told me you are going to apologize for what you did to him two nights ago," Hanai added reprovingly. Even though he wasn't really part of the quarrel between Kanō and Mihashi, it still concerned him as a part of Nishiura Baseball team. If it at least affected the gameplay of one player, then Hanai understood that there was already an unstated need for them to step into the matter. But never did he expect that Kanō would be doing something so outrageous. Hanai watched Kanō for some seconds. It seemed that the latter refuse to look at him.

"Well," Kanō said as he held his cap's peak, "there's always change of plans," he answered, but it did not even sound so logical to Hanai's part. It was an awful choice to begin with, and it was a decision that Hanai could say he _detested_.

"And it's a plan that involved _crushing_ our pitcher," Hanai replied by stating the obvious. "You should think of how much damage you can give to Mihashi." He chided him, but Hanai noticed how Kanō's expression remained blank. He shut his lips for some seconds, to give time for the other pitcher to respond to him.

"I know," Kanō answered, voice soft. "I know how painful my words were. I intended to say those words because I know it will make Mihashi feel hurt." The brown-haired pitcher said. Hanai almost felt confused because of Kanō's lack of expression. The pitcher's voice varied in loudness, but still retained that ever-stern tone that laced his words. "That's the only way now to tell Mihashi the truth and that's the only way for him to realize that life isn't so sweet," he added. Hanai wondered briefly, but he understood a huge part why Kanō said those.

"I don't know what happened between the two of you," Hanai just remarked. "Believe me, I do want to know, but I'm not going to force you to tell me." He just said, watching as Kanō's countenance changed a bit. "But what are you intending to happen by making him feel sad?" He asked. "We have a game ahead of us, and you know it's not going to help any of us. For you to tell him words in the most painful way possible, surely there's something you have in mind." Hanai stated his thoughts.

Slowly, Kanō's thin-lipped look turned sour, as a frown began to mar his face. "You're all probably wondering why Mihashi's acts that way. I recognized you know how little confidence Mihashi has for himself," Kanō told Hanai. "I want him to gain that confidence; I want to erase that pitiful personality away from him." He tried to look back at Mihashi, but a pang of guilt washed over him, making him gaze towards the opposite direction instead. "But as long as he remains tied to the last connection of what made him that way, he's never going to change." Kanō explained.

"And by severing this tie you believe Mihashi's going to change for the better," Hanai reworded Kanō's line of thought. Perhaps it would benefit Mihashi in the long run, Hanai considered, but it was not the best time for that. If there was one thing clear to him, then it was Kanō was just _hurting_. Kanō just felt too bad, felt too sad that he couldn't take it much more and just let the feeling flow away from him. "But what ties are you trying to cut?" Hanai asked him. _If there is that thing that hinders Mihashi, then what is it?_ He added in his thoughts.

But then Hanai only looked startled when Kanō began to grin so wide and flashed him a good-natured smile. Putting his thumb to his chest, Kanō started to speak. "_Here_," he said at first. "If there is one thing that connects Mihashi to his _past_, then it's here," he jabbed his thumb harder, "it's _me_." He told Hanai. "If Mihashi needs to move forward, then he simply needs to know that he should not rely on me too much. Mihashi's being reminded of his past because of me," at that point, even though he still wore that grin, Kanō's tears flowed down from his eyes. "As long as he thinks greatly of me, he won't ever, _ever_ forget his own helplessness." Kanō finally said. "It's all because of me… that's why Mihashi should _leave_ me in order to move _ahead_," he bowed his head and then cried silently.

Hanai could only watch. With him not knowing anything about these two's past, he could not do anything but observe how they struggled with their daily lives. At least Kanō had finally showed his intention – he only wanted the best for Mihashi. But he decided that he wasn't the guy who was _best_ for Mihashi; that was why he pushed his friend away.

Hanai uncurled his arms from his chest as he approached Kanō's sobbing figure. He only placed a hand over the other teen's shoulder as a sign of support. He already knew that Kanō did not open up much to the other members of the team, so he hadn't had anyone to know how he truly felt. Hanai gave a reassuring squeeze to Kanō's shoulder as he closed his eyes and pondered for the moment. It was the time for them to wait. Probably, Kanō had broken Mihashi once more so that someone could heal him much _better_ than Kanō did.

**. . . . . . . . .**

_So… this is what he wants to happen_.

Abe watched as Mihashi cried a river, his tears wetting the dry soil beneath him. Those were certainly harsh words; even Abe could not say anything to the pitcher for those things that he had heard. Abe crouched down to Mihashi's side, observing how a nervous wreck their pitcher had become. All those cries were evidence of the pain and sadness that Mihashi had tried to obscure, which only took mere words to unhide. Abe realized how broken Mihashi was at that time, but as he finally understood what happened, he could not point an accusing finger to the one who did this to him.

_In any cases, he can't pitch normally if he's like this_.

"I-I'm n-not a-a-a g-good pitcher, I'm not a g-g-good pitcher…" He heard Mihashi mutter as he sobbed. "P-Please don't h-ha-hate me, Shū-chan… Please don't h-h-hate me," he pleaded, but not even realizing that the person he spoke to was not even there anymore. Abe only winced at how terrible Mihashi appeared, at how devastated he sounded. "Please… Y-Y-you're the better p-pitcher… I'm not a g-g-good pitcher…" He haplessly stated, making Abe look more worried.

But he suddenly remembered what their coach told him last night. His cheeks darkened up a little bit, as a light tint of crimson formed over his skin. Abe regarded Mihashi as the latter bent over the ground, smudging the earth with his saddened tears, filling the air with his hopeless pleads. He reached out for Mihashi's pitching hand and pulled it closer to him. The blond's silver irises immediately looked to him; it hadn't stop his tears but it pulled him out of his depressing and broken reverie. "It's all right." Abe said, staring back at those cold orbs. "You're a good pitcher."

Mihashi paused for a second, before his eyes widened up a bit… only for him to spill out more tears. He tried to pull back from Abe's hold, but the catcher didn't let go. "It's not true," he said in contradiction, thinking of what Shū-chan had just told him.

"You are a good pitcher!" Abe answered back, refusing to shun his eyes away from the broken Mihashi.

"That's not true!"

"I said you're a good pitcher!" Abe repeated as he inched forward to Mihashi, in order to send his words more clearly towards the pitcher.

But it seemed that Abe's efforts were in vain. As Mihashi continued to say and believe that he wasn't any good in pitching, Abe watched with his face flushing red. They were left in an awkward situation, a scene that Abe would admit that he was uncomfortable with. _Dammit_, he muttered in thought. _When coach did this to me, I gave in instantly!_ He added. _This guy is so stubborn_, he remarked as well. But his attention was shifted back to Mihashi's hand. _But honestly, his hand is cold_. Abe noted. _He isn't just sad. He's also really nervous_.

As he continued to grip Mihashi's hand, Abe suddenly noticed something really different with their pitcher's skin. _His fingertips are hard_. He slowly brushed his own fingers with Mihashi's, lacing his with those cold and clammy digits. _Blisters turned into calluses_. He continued to examine Mihashi's pale hand. _A slider callus. A shoot callus._ He discerned them as he knew how those pitches were thrown, and how it affected the pitcher's skin with those types of throw. _I wonder how many pitches he threw in order to gain such control of his pitches while making these calluses. _Abe grimaced. _He's made such an effort…_

"I knew it," Mihashi wept. "I shouldn't be pitching…"

_It's not that he's stubborn_, Abe thought as he listened to the pitcher's words. _He doesn't have any confidence in himself_. He finally deduced, after hearing out those desolate statements from Mihashi. _Even after pitching so much, he still doesn't have any confidence_. Abe started to understand. _Kanō knows that about Mihashi, but, even so, Mihashi doesn't believe him_. Abe continued to say in thought. _Mihashi has done so much, but he was stripped off his self-confidence. He felt like he was undeserving. He was hated, but those who hated him hadn't even realized how much effort he gave just to pitch._ Abe versed in his head. For someone who had done so much, for someone who had trodden over the most difficult of paths, being _denied_ was one of the most painful feelings. Mihashi had done his best, but he was simply pushed away without them knowing his efforts. Mihashi felt the pain, yet no one understood it. Abe bit his lips. _He's done so much… yet he did not even complain once_.

Mihashi stilled when he felt Abe's hand held him tighter. He sent his eyes to the catcher.

Though he didn't really see him, Mihashi knew that the other teen was in the verge of tears, as proven by a soft whimper that escaped from Abe's lips before he spoke to him. "You're a good pitcher…" Mihashi heard Abe-kun said. Abe enclosed Mihashi's hand with his own.

…e_ven though you irritate me and make me angry_, Abe mentally said as he wiped off the tears that welled over his eyes. "I like you, not just as a pitcher." Abe muttered. "I mean, you're making such an effort!" He bowed down a little before he placed his encouraging stare back at Mihashi. _I want to do something for him. I want to be of help to him_.

And it clicked inside his mind.

_Is that what a catcher is about…?_

Mihashi and Abe remained silent for a while, as they shared those stares with one another. But Abe was reeled out when he felt that the hand he held felt warmer.

"Do you… think I'm working hard?" Mihashi asked him.

"I do." _I really do_.

"I like pitching." Mihashi said.

"I can tell." _I can tell how much_.

"Really?" Mihashi asked. "You can tell?"

"I can." _I really can_.

"I… I want to win!"

"We can win!" _We can, I tell you_.

_Abe-kun isn't taken back. _Mihashi wondered inside his head. _Abe-kun actually accepts me… Shū-chan_, even if a twinge of pain tugged on his heart, Mihashi still called his friend, _someone accepts me! Shū-chan, someone sees I'm working hard!_ "I… like you too, Abe-kun!"

"Thank you…" Abe was only able to mutter.

In truth, he was happy that he was able to pull Mihashi out of his misery. But, at that exact moment, he finally understood what Kanō wanted to do all along.

Kanō understood Mihashi's problem. Kanō knew that Mihashi looked at himself so _lowly_. Perhaps – _no_ – Kanō _did_ his best to help Mihashi change, but, in the end, the blond pitcher remained doubtful and uncertain of own skills. But the realization struck him hard: just like what Kanō said to Mihashi earlier, happiness would come from the _sacrifices _of the people around them. And then Abe knew that Kanō had just _sacrificed_ himself just to set Mihashi free from the chains that held him, to the past that chewed him up and spat him out like nothing. Kanō plotted for this to happen, in order for Mihashi to realize the truth…

Because Kanō understood that because he looked at him as the better pitcher, Mihashi could never, _ever_ move forward.

Abe held an openmouthed expression when he remembered what Kanō told him mere minutes before.

"_I'm done_. _It's now your turn, Abe._ _Take care of your pitcher._"

* * *

- **Chapter End** -

* * *

**...**

We stand only after we fall  
We push and break whatever wall  
We do heal after we are pained  
We challenge the world unrestrained

These words are what I heard from you  
One I despise but cherish too  
Perhaps these are only but part  
Of how dear you are in my heart

* * *

Happy Birthday, Mihashi-kun! (May 17)

_The poem's more like what Mihashi-kun wants to say to Abe-kun. :)_


	7. Discovering things

**Chapter 7  
**_**Discovering things**_

* * *

Perhaps it always looked so random, but _janken_ – the popularly well-known '_rock-paper-scissors_' game – had always done so much in determining which would be the home or visiting team. And although it was merely a game of luck at the first tries, Hanai wasn't that ignorant about _his_ chances. It had only been a trivial matter, but Hanai had almost cursed his seeming streak of bad luck whenever he was involved in such cases. Like when he was picked up by their coach to represent the team to decide whether they'd take the top or the bottom of the inning. In all the odds that were possible – there were only _two_, though –, Hanai already knew what to expect.

He lost and gave the opportunity to Sakitama to choose their position.

And for all the rights they had – well, Nishiura was the _visiting _team –, Sakitama had chosen to be the home team; thus, securing the bottom of the half the innings as their spot for the offensive. And for some reason, Hanai felt that there were people within their team that would dislike how their turns were decided. The first person who entered his thoughts was Abe – their catcher definitely appeared fussy for some reason. And the second one—Hanai shook his head. It wasn't the time to be bothering about their reactions. It was their first practice game as a team, and he should be clearing his mind from unnecessary thoughts. Well, it wasn't entirely unnecessary, but still… _Priorities, Hanai!_ The teen smacked his face with both of his hands.

Luckily, no one had complained about their spot, probably too nervous—_no_, perhaps really just _excited_ about their game. It was surprising that most of them didn't show any signs of obvious worry about the practice game. Tajima, who was _naturally _enthusiastic, moved around as if powered up by at least five times. At least – it seemed to Hanai – Tajima's eagerness was being rubbed off into his teammates, as they, too, gave out some motivated smiles to one another. A small grin plastered over his lips. After all, Hanai wasn't immune to excitement as well.

But, of course, there came the _only _exemption.

The smirk over his face was erased as he saw Mihashi by the bullpen, wearing that ever-nervous expression. It wouldn't be a surprise to see him that way, but Hanai was slightly concerned about his gameplay. Sure, Abe was very particular about the extent of Mihashi's skill, as he sounded so confident when they talked beforehand. But, in the end, stress would always be _contagious_; it may be passed unknowingly, which would slowly chew their calm while in their game. There was no doubt that the pitcher stood as the pillar of the team. But when one's pillar was _someone_ as fidgety and nervous as Mihashi, one would question how the team would endure the game. But as much as he thought, Hanai should not let it inside him for long – he didn't want to fret out like Mihashi.

But that was his thoughts before he saw Mihashi and Kanō's discussion in that empty clearing. When he saw Kanō pull Mihashi from the bullpen where he and Abe practiced, Hanai was quickly pulled away from his concerns and was immediately perked up with the scene. Kanō did tell him that he was going to apologize to Mihashi about what happened two nights ago and it was probably the best time to diffuse the looming tension between the two pitchers, to clear away their worries even before the game started. And he followed them, of course. Hanai didn't really know why, but he felt something inside that told him to watch.

And what he saw surprised him.

It was not that simple '_I'm sorry_,' not even that small chuckle that often escaped from one's lips upon realizing that the quarrel was nothing but laughable. No. It had trod into a different stage, worsened into something more serious that Hanai never expected. But, on that moment alone, Hanai knew that there was something deep between the two pitchers, a past that was too delicate to be touched, too grim for Mihashi and Kanō to speak of. Just when Kanō shattered what was left of Mihashi's will, Hanai knew that the former had _planned_ this all along, as if he was waiting for the opportunity to happen. But it was just so sudden, too abrupt that it wasn't only Mihashi that was taken aback, but as well as Hanai who had no idea of the reason hidden by these two pitchers. Hanai only watched as Mihashi broke down, only watched as Mihashi was abandoned by his friend, and only watched as that same friend suffered the similar pain he just gave. Kanō's tears ran down his face, silently lamenting on the agony he just thrashed into Mihashi.

He wanted to know. But everything just happened in an instant. Hanai only placed his hand over Kanō's shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. It was not his place to intervene, but he had a responsibility to them as their teammates. But as long as there was that game ahead of them, Hanai could only hope for both Mihashi and Kanō to hold on, even for that day alone. Even though he was still half-hearted about it, Hanai wanted to help. He glanced at Kanō as the teen started to wipe the tears from his face.

"Are you all right?" Hanai asked him, though he knew that Kanō wasn't all right at all. Seeing the teen nod at him, Hanai finally slid his hand off his shoulder and looked back towards the field, where most of Nishiura warmed up. "Let's go," but he sounded more like he was just _recommending _him, not entirely ordering Kanō to go. "I can't make any real reassurance, but I know everything's going to be all right." He said to Kanō, who perked up as soon as he heard him say. Hanai wore a small smile as he turned to Kanō. "We still have a game ahead of us."

The two of them started to walk back their dugout. Hanai took the effort to glance behind him and see if Kanō still followed him. He was slightly relieved to see their second pitcher still on his trail and was also thankful that the evidence of tears was not apparent upon his eyes. Having his team question his sudden disappearance was one concern he would not allow; how could Hanai simply tell them that Kanō just broke Mihashi's resolve down? At least, for this game, he had to hide what happened back at the clearing. And the only way for that is—

At the same time, Abe and Mihashi appeared from the other side. Perhaps Abe did now know that Hanai was there, but, when their eyes met, it was as if Abe understood that Hanai knew what happened. Abe's pupils landed briefly upon Kanō, who just stood beside Hanai, before he turned it back to the taller teen. It was probably enough for Abe to know that Hanai was aware of the situation. Both of their eyes locked for one moment, traded wordless statements to each other. And then Hanai understood. _We'll keep this just to ourselves_.

**. . . . . . . . .**

Despite the gruff introduction when they met two weeks ago, Hanai seemed to be the guy who would think first before speaking his thoughts. Perhaps Hanai was just only truly awkward when they all first met, but it did not take long for Abe to realize that Hanai was simply a sensible teen. And it was not surprising for Abe to know that Hanai was aware of the scene that happened barely five minutes ago; he just knew that in one way or another, Mihashi and Kanō were bound to _invite_ the attention of some members of Nishiura.

But, at least, Abe was thankful that it was Hanai who turned out to be the next one mindful of the situation. And if Abe thought it correctly, he and Hanai shared the same thought – let it _pass_ right now. There was absolutely _no _way of telling the other guys of what just happened, or they would risk the team to crumble because of it. And as he and Hanai traded those serious glances, Abe knew that Hanai had the intention of keeping the team whole.

It was a relief for him.

Abe noticed that Kanō turned to him. _You're broken too_, Abe said in thought, as he remarked the expression that the other pitcher wore. _You sacrificed yourself for Mihashi, but it only meant that you are willing to suffer the end_, Abe added. He never took off his sight from the other pitcher. _But what are you going to achieve by doing this?_ And when he asked that in thought, Kanō finally veered his eye away from the catcher and started to walk back to the dugout. Abe could only wear a frown as the issue concerning Kanō and Mihashi intensified.

"Mihashi?" Abe turned to the pitcher beside him and saw that his stare was back to the dugout, perhaps watching Kanō from that far. It wasn't really normal that one person would suddenly lash himself out on another, so Abe was _really _concerned on how it would affect Mihashi. But, indirectly, Kanō had just dropped on Abe a responsibility he held. Abe only watched as Mihashi placed his hand over his chest. _Just what happened to the two of you?_ Abe wanted to ask, but he knew that if he poked too much, Mihashi would only be affected even more. "Mihashi," he called out once more.

"A-Abe-kun," Mihashi was broken off from his reverie as he faced the catcher. "I-I-I…" he opened his mouth for some seconds, but he retracted his lips and shut them close. Abe almost yelled back to him but quickly remembered the scene that the pitcher just went through. _It's not the time to startle him_, Abe chided himself. Slowly, Mihashi put his eyes away from Abe and down to his hands. "I-I want to…" but his words died out once more. Abe tried his best, tried his _very _best to wait for Mihashi. But it seemed that Mihashi was still under the trance of his own helplessness, the wall that Kanō tried to destroy. _A wall that he tried to overcome by offering himself_, Abe commented, fully understanding what Kanō wanted to happen. _But what if Mihashi won't ever recover…?_

Both of their attention was caught when Coach Momoe called Nishiura back into the dugout. Abe glanced back at Mihashi, before he started to march towards the bench, Mihashi in tow. There were a lot of things to think about, and Abe just hoped it wouldn't mess up with his game.

But it was also as equally important to Mihashi's part. Kanō did not simply break Mihashi down because of nothing. He tore Mihashi's resolve in the hope that _someone_ would assemble it again, and make it even stronger than before. And Kanō just dumped that role to Abe, Mihashi's catcher. It was what Kanō meant to do, and Abe felt so struck that he had been given that responsibility. Until that point, Abe had no idea what to do. But as he realized the truth, as he discovered who he was to the team, who he was as the catcher, Abe recognized that indeed, Mihashi had _someone_ else to depend on.

He wasn't going to back down, not now that he found this pitcher who threw amazing pitches, not now that there was a real way for them to win. Perhaps he may have not liked Mihashi when he first met him, but Abe understood who he was to Mihashi. Just as when Mihashi was beginning to fall down, Abe knew that it was his role to support this pitcher up. Just as when Mihashi was shattered into pieces, it was his role to pick up those pieces and make their pitcher _whole_ once again.

* * *

"_Batting first, second baseman, Sakaeguchi-kun._"

There was no doubt that it was Shino'oka who took the role as the game's announcer. Mihashi easily pinpointed the location of the nearest broadcast speaker, as if he was looking at their manager herself. He wasn't really able to check on the whole field, so he did not know where the announcer's area was. As a precaution that he and Shū-chan had decided, they should first track the area around the field so that Mihashi would have a mental image of the area. But because of what happened…

Mihashi felt his eyes warmed with tears. Just the thought of Shū-chan abandoning him made him feel sad and alone. Just remembering how sad Shū-chan's voice was made Mihashi feel that he was the cause of his friend's loneliness… and it pained Mihashi even more. He did not know what caused Shū-chan to tell him those painful words. He had no idea why Shū-chan told him those, now that they were already starting to recover in Nishiura. Mihashi raised his arm and wiped off the tears that threatened to fall over. _I just wanted for Shū-chan and I to be happy_.

He suddenly heard the sharp sound of the ball, the whizzing noise created by the movement of the ball against the air around it. He remembered what Shū-chan told him back then, that it was the sound of the ball in friction with the air around it. Shū-chan told him that Mihashi could use that sound to distinguish the speed of the ball and the type of pitch used to deliver it, just like how he used the sound of the air when the catcher gave him the signs. But the dugout proved to be too far for him to truly recognize the pitches thrown by Sakitama's pitcher.

And instead of the sound of the bat hitting the ball, a crunching sound reverberated into his ears – the sound made when the ball instead made contact with the catcher's mitt. But Mihashi hadn't heard the sharp whipping sound produced when the batter swung his bat against the ball. _Sakaeguchi-kun… did not swing_, Mihashi quickly realized. But he did not know whether the ball was thrown inside the strike zone – Mihashi still needed the official call of the umpire for him to know. The blond pitcher fixed his stare towards—

"Ball," an oddly energetic tone sprung beside him. Mihashi jumped away because of surprise, only for him to realize that it was just Tajima who had stood beside him. As Mihashi tried to gaze at Tajima, he heard the umpire yelled: "_Ball_!"

"Ta-Tajima-kun," Mihashi sounded anxious and relieved at the same time, as he gave out an exhausted sigh. "Tajima-kun… fourth batter…" The blond pitcher stated, with his sentence clearly incomplete, though it did not impede Tajima's comprehension at all. The cleanup hitter only grinned back at Mihashi before he spoke in response.

"Well, Sakaeguchi's the first batter!" He said. "Then there's Kanō and then there's Abe!" He continued to speak in an enthusiastic tone as he recounted their batting order. "And there's me!" He said as he flashed his fingers in front of Mihashi. "So that makes me fourth!" He chuckled towards the blond pitcher, as he refaced the field and gave both Sakaeguchi and Sakitama's pitcher a long stare. Silence lingered between the two of them – Mihashi provided Tajima a sightless glance before he leaned over the short metallic fence that kept them inside their dugout, seemingly trying to visualize the current scene inside his head.

"But… you… should prepare," Mihashi just added. It didn't mean that Mihashi didn't want Tajima to stay near him. He was just curious that their cleanup batter was still in the dugout. If Mihashi was in his position, he'd felt so nervous that they began the offensive in the top inning.

"I'll go there when it's already Abe's turn," Tajima answered, as waved off Mihashi's concern and added a brief but strong gaze back at the pitcher. "I'll stay here for a while and _strictly _observe the other team's pitcher!" He said and chuckled. Mihashi felt struck at the sound of the laidback tone from Tajima, a tone of voice that he couldn't refuse a smile to. Mihashi turned his attention back at the game.

Again, the same sounds echoed into his ears, but the crisp sound of the bat hitting the ball finally rung in his head. It meant that Sakaeguchi made contact with the ball. Mihashi leaned forward, but not to watch the scene; he only made sure that he'd be hearing the sounds created within the field, for him to distinguish what was happening at the time. He heard the heavy strides that followed when the bat was thrown to the ground. Mihashi thought if Sakaeguchi-kun would reach the first base but nonetheless gave him a silent praise—

"Grounder to pitcher," Tajima muttered beside him. Mihashi flicked his head back to Nishiura's cleanup. As he did that, Mihashi heard the ball was sent into the air and crashed over another person's mitt, which was followed by a deep-toned call for an 'out'. With what Tajima said, Mihashi could only conclude that the ball rolled into the mound, picked up by the pitcher and then threw it towards Sakitama's first baseman. He then heard some footsteps coming closer to them and recognized Sakaeguchi's voice soon after.

"I'm sorry," he muttered to them. But most of Nishiura only shook off his apology and told him that they'd certainly score a run for this inning.

"_Batting second, first baseman, Kanō-kun_."

Mihashi gulped as he heard his friend's name and quickly sent his head towards the batter's box. _Shū-chan_, he called in thought. _Do… your best_, he gave him a silent regard. Even though he couldn't see him, Mihashi would be rooting for his friend. Even though Kanō had just seemed to abandon him, Mihashi won't stop on looking up at his friend. He was his savior, and no matter how much he pushed him away, no matter how angry Kanō could become, Mihashi had promised that he would _see_ his friend succeed. Mihashi would see Kanō do greater things. Even though he was sightless, Mihashi would continue to _watch_ him.

"Strike, no swing," Mihashi heard once more. For some reason, Tajima spoke softer when he apparently dictated the outcome of the at-bat. There was no playful voice, as if he was simply reporting what he had seen, sharing what just happened for that moment. But there suddenly formed a question inside Mihashi's mind.

_To whom… does Tajima-kun… telling it?_

"Strike, no swing," Tajima continued, apparently oblivious of the stare Mihashi was giving him. "Strike, with a swing," the cleanup batter continued. "Kanō struck out," he added as he faced the blond pitcher. But he was surprised when Mihashi's full attention was on him. "Mihashi?"

"Tajima-kun?" Mihashi called his name first. "Why are… saying… strikes… and…?" The blond pitcher's sentences were more intelligible than before, but Tajima still had no problem on deciphering them. He only wore a wide grin and scratched the back of his head.

"Does it bother you?" Tajima quickly asked. "I'm just used to saying the pitches and outcomes of the batters I'm watching," he explained to him. "Don't sweat about it. I'm just trying to think what my possible hits on my at-bat are!" He told Mihashi as he barked a joyous laugh. "You know, I want to _strictly _make contact with the pitcher!" He added as he walked away from Mihashi and took some gears at the wooden compartment decked on the dugout's periphery. Tajima looked on the field and said, "Look! It's Abe's turn already! Gotta go, Mihashi!" He told the pitcher and went on his way to the on-deck circle.

**. . . . . . . . .**

Before it was his turn, Abe's attention was distracted over their dugout than setting it over the field, where he should focus on because he was the one who'd go next after their second batter's at-bat. Perhaps he could not pull himself away from worrying over their pitcher, since it was still fresh in his thoughts. As he watched the blond pitcher stare ahead – towards the batters –, Abe also couldn't help but wonder when Tajima suddenly appeared beside Mihashi and started to talk to him. Abe only kept a wary eye even while the game continued.

There wasn't any problem if they interacted with Mihashi. Probably, it would be best for their pitcher, if it would serve to divert his attention from the sadness that he felt. And if it was the ever-spirited Tajima who did the talking, Abe knew that even Mihashi wouldn't resist sharing with the bouncy teen's lively aura. However, as opposed to his expectations, a very solemn Tajima actually took the spot beside Mihashi, and just almost wordlessly accompanied the pitcher as he watched the field. And when Tajima started to speak, his naturally brisk expression appeared, but it was kept short… and then he and Mihashi would once again watch in silence.

_Never thought that even he could shut his mouth once in a while_, Abe said in thought. His choice of words reflected derision, but Abe certainly had no animosity towards Tajima. _Heck_, he was just as glad when Tajima decided to join Nishiura, being an infamous member of the Arakawa Sea Breams in his middle school and all. But it was just slightly peculiar to see that bubbly Tajima in a silent form… and Abe could never miss the glances Tajima often directed to Mihashi when the latter was looking away. _As if he was observing Mihashi too_, Abe remarked.

Indeed, too many times Abe had caught Tajima looking strangely at Mihashi. When Mihashi turned towards him, Tajima only posed back into his casual expression, talking to Mihashi as normally as he often did. But when the silence lurked between them, Tajima's eyes turned barren and narrow; his pupils whipping to the side as he observed Mihashi wordlessly. It had made Abe curious, and it had made him _concerned_ enough. He had no problems if the other person who was aware with the ruckus earlier was Hanai; the almost-bald teen was prudent enough to discern what and what was _not_ to say. But Abe couldn't say the same towards Tajima. Obviously, he had a large mouth, and an extremely uncontrollable one. Nevertheless, there were no apparent signs of the conflict that were wrought over Mihashi's face. But Abe was confused that Tajima seemed to _discover _something about Mihashi.

"_Strike_!" The umpire called and pulled Abe's mind back. Kanō stepped away from the box as he struck out after his at-bat. Their eyes even barely met as Kanō moved away and turned towards the dugout. Sparing one final glance at Mihashi, Abe saw that Tajima had excused himself from the team as he sprinted towards the on-deck circle. And when Tajima reached the spot, he only looked at Abe and asked,

"What happened to Mihashi?"

Abe's eyes were wide in surprise after he heard Tajima's question. He only stared at him in shock before the umpire managed to snatch his attention from the sudden trance that took him. He wasn't able to answer as he strode for the box and prepared for his turn. _It couldn't be_, Abe just thought as he stood over the box and prepared his bat. _Just how did Tajima know about it?_

"_Play ball_!" The umpire called. Abe purposely missed the first pitch and analyzed it inside his head. But it quickly conflicted with another question that loomed over his mind. _It's not possible for him to discover, right?_ He asked himself. The next pitch he did not intentionally miss, since his mind was just occupied with his previous thought. _Damn_, Abe mentally hissed. _If there is one thing that's sure, then it's that I need to do something about it…_ The third pitch was sure hittable. Abe swung in all his might and caught the ball, sending it over the outfield, between where the center and right fielder stood.

_And I have to do it fast!_ He mused as he ran towards the first base. Sakitama's defenses failed for the first time when Abe reached it safely, which was followed by a chorus from Nishiura's dugout: "_Nice batting!_"

* * *

Abe wore a confident smile as he tugged his head protector down his face. Now was the time for their counterattack, and it was also the point where he and Mihashi would work together as the team's battery. Despite the nervous expression on Mihashi's face, Abe still felt so sure.

"_Bottom of the first inning, batting first, right fielder, Tanaka-kun_."

_Let's see how this batter feels right now_, Abe said in thought as he motioned some signs. _Slider, out and high_, the catcher signaled to him, before he folded his right hand behind him. Abe adjusted his mitt to the location where he wanted the ball to land. He gave Mihashi a long stare and watched as their pitcher nodded, did a windup and threw the ball towards Sakitama's first batter. Tanaka Mitsuteru, the bespectacled second year from Sakitama's line up, swung his bat as the ball neared him.

And he was too late to realize that his swing was just entirely useless.

Abe smiled. _Checkmate_.

That alone had made Abe more confident. Just as he felt Mihashi's pitches landed over his mitt, he felt some sensation of joy that coursed through his body. He couldn't understand, but he knew it was because of his game-calling. With his signs and calls, he knew he could defeat Sakitama. And with Mihashi throwing him those pitches, Abe could not imagine what kind of event would lead them to their defeat. And that was only the beginning.

Tanaka swung again and missed. On his third bat, he managed to hit the ball, although it landed just in front of Suyama, Nishiura's shortstop. With a quick throw towards Kanō, Nishiura managed to tag him out.

Sakitama's second batter, Sugita, had hit the ball on his first swing, although it flew too low that Sakaeguchi caught it in midair. The umpire called for the second 'out.'

Furusawa, Sakitama's left fielder, also hit the ball on first try, although it was a grounder towards the first base. Kanō easily took it tagged the first base even before Furusawa reached it. A third call for an 'out' was made.

Abe only watched Mihashi amusedly. Their pitcher appeared to be in shock after the bottom of the first inning only ended after _five _pitches. After all, it was what Abe wanted him to feel. He wanted to show Mihashi that his pitches were flawless and had the ability to strike out any kind of batters. Abe wanted to make Mihashi feel that he was not useless, he wanted to make sure that Mihashi's perception of himself would change. _Striking out a batter is the best feeling for a pitcher, right?_ Abe remarked him as he remained on the catcher's box, watching Mihashi stood awestruck over the mound. _As long as you are with me, I'm going to make you pitch in order to strike out any batters. _He said inside his head. _As long as you are with me, you are going to feel good_. He added as he finally stood and called out Mihashi's attention. "Mihashi," he said, and a good-natured smiled landed over Abe's face. "Let's go back!" He said and waved over the blond pitcher. _And as long as you are with me, I'll make sure you are going to win_. He twisted as he and Mihashi started to head back to their dugout.

As Abe unclasped himself from his gears, his eyes landed over at Kanō, who watched them from a distance inside their dugout. Abe was startled when he saw a small gleam of gratitude that shone from Kanō's amber irises, despite the overall sadness and pain that loomed over him. Of course, Abe understood. He just remembered what Kanō told him before they separated ways. '_Take care of your pitcher_,' Abe worded in thought. It was what Kanō wanted him to do. _After trying to throw Mihashi away, he wants me to save him_, Abe realized.

But he knew that it was only a start. Perhaps he had silently accepted Kanō's wish for him to help Mihashi, but Abe truly understood that they were still in a long and _painful _way of making Mihashi stronger and more confident of himself. Just what happened right now was the testament of the road Mihashi had walked upon, a road wherein he felt all the pain and misery, all the hurt and agony. Abe knew that they had just begun to walk together, and it would take a lot of patience on his part. Because if he wanted to help Mihashi, then there was one thing that Abe needed to do first. If he wanted Mihashi to grow stronger, he needed to make Mihashi realize that Abe was there for him – as his catcher and his _friend_. And the only way for him to do that was to make Mihashi accept him. He pulled his eyes away from Kanō and looked at Mihashi, who sat silently on the other bench. _I will make you choose me_, Abe thought. _After you felt that Kanō has left you, I know you believed that you haven't got someone to help you._ Abe walked over in front of Mihashi and pulled the cap off their pitcher's head. _But that's the reason why you need to accept me_.

Mihashi only looked up and locked his silvery orbs at Abe, sending him an inquisitive expression. Abe was just silent, but there was a little smile that appeared over his lips – which disappeared as soon as it had formed.

Yet Abe was still considerate. He knew that their path onwards were not fully sweet. They were bound to run over some walls and they were bound to walk over the path of thorns. He knew that – he just didn't expect it to happen as _soon_.

* * *

At the bottom of the second inning, both Abe and Mihashi stood in horror as the ball flew towards the center and continued past the outfield. Sakura Daichi, Sakitama's catcher, had hit the ball squarely by his bat, and launched it in such a force that made Abe stood up with a dazed expression. He watched the ball as it disappeared behind the clearing. The umpires had granted him a free walk over the bases. But because the bases were empty, a single point was only rewarded to Sakitama.

But it was not the point that mattered. Abe knew that it was the damage that had been dealt to their morale when Sakura hit that pitch. It was especially damaging to Abe, who called for the pitch. But he had never realized how far more detrimental it was to Mihashi, the one who actually threw the pitch. Abe was only pulled from his shock when Mihashi dropped on his knees, attracting the attention of his fellow teammates near him. Of course, Kanō was the first one to look tense at the scene.

Unexpectedly, it was Tajima who called for a timeout and walked towards Mihashi. The energetic teen whispered something towards the blond pitcher…

And Mihashi quickly stood up.

* * *

- **Chapter End** -


	8. Acknowledging that person

**Chapter 8  
**_**Acknowledging that person**_

* * *

_The team is going to lose because of me_.

Mihashi knelt over the mound because of the sheer amount of fear and anxiety that descended over him at that moment. Just the sound of the bat making contact with the ball made him feel weak; the sharp crunching sound still rang inside his ears, as if it was a mocking melody especially made for him. He could only look down on the ground – not that he could see it – because he suddenly felt that he couldn't face Abe-kun due to the blunder he just did.

_Even though how great Abe-kun's game calling is… I am the one who is throwing the pitches_.

And the shadowy figures of contempt and travesty stood around him, seemingly trying to tell him that it was his entire fault – that everything was his mistake. Mihashi was pathetic. Mihashi was weak. Mihashi was the reason for everyone's sadness. Mihashi was the cause of the team's defeat. It was a chant that ran all over his head, beating him down into nothingness, shrouding him in the cold darkness. Mihashi was being pushed into that room, a place in his heart where he would crawl when he's hurt. A place where all its light was stolen in the past…

But there was a warm presence that suddenly stood beside him, pushing the sense of cold and lonesomeness away from him. As he crouched down over the mound, Mihashi could feel a familiar yet strange sensation that towered strong near him. As he sent his silver irises to his side, Mihashi could feel the warmth expelled by this presence, by this _person_ who appeared when he was receding to the dark pit of his self. Mihashi looked up as if he could identify this person, even though he was really sightless to begin with.

"Mihashi," the pitcher finally recognized him as Tajima. His voice was obviously worried, but it was nothing to the comforting spirit that blended with his tone. He felt Tajima stooped down next to him – to Mihashi's surprise – and he started to whisper some words that made him realize some things. Mihashi's eyes were wide as he digested those statements from Tajima, reeling in their meanings deep in his head and into his heart. When he heard those words from their cleanup, Mihashi felt a sense of reassurance bathing him.

Mihashi quickly stood up and poised himself prepared. _I want to pitch_. He said to himself. _This is the place where those who want to pitch make a stand_. He said in thought. Even though his heart had felt the same pang of pain he just experienced minutes ago, Mihashi steeled himself. He looked to his side but realized that Tajima had already fled back to the third base. Mihashi felt confused and glad at the same time. Knowing that Tajima helped him made Mihashi realized some things… but also made him aware that there were still facts that Mihashi had to keep in mind.

_Is Tajima-kun…?_

**. . . . . . . . .**

Abe only regained his footing after he saw Mihashi stood up strong once more. He had been struck because of Sakura Daichi batting a homerun for his team. It felt like a strong punch against his gut, since he was confident about his signs and calls. As the catcher who was making the call, it was a hard blow against him to have the opposing team's batter managed a hit. It was like a ridicule against him, that his plans were nothing but silly. But he had briefly forgotten that the setback was hardest towards the pitcher. Abe stared at Mihashi.

_It's not uncommon for high school baseball to play with no data_, Abe reasoned to himself, as they defended for the remaining portion of the inning. _If I only had the data on that guy, then I should have just_… Abe then realized. After Mihashi struck out the rest of the players, he quickly joined the blond and the rest of the team back to their dugout. With a plan already in his head, all that he needed to do then was to inform his team of a tactic that would help them overcome the enemy.

"We'll walk him out." Abe told them, which earned different reactions from the team. But despite their reservations, the catcher had his mind already set. He only shot a glance towards their coach, seemingly waiting for her confirmation. Coach Momoe easily noticed the sharp gaze given to him by Abe and only responded with a small but confident smile.

"It's doable." She only said, dropping most of her attention down towards Abe. Coach Momoe appeared to be thinking of something – as shown when she smiled uncharacteristically when Abe continued to speak about their plan to intentionally walk out Sakitama's fifth-hole batter.

And after their quick conference had ended – which sent the inning's batters towards the field –, Abe chose to stand and watch the game from their dugout. He couldn't help but to observe, since Mihashi himself was one of the batters. However, there was another matter that he wanted to address. It was a point that he should have made moments before the game began and he would have informed the others if not because of the scene that Kanō made. With a loud sigh, Abe looked at his side and saw that his teammates' eyes were already on him – just as he liked it to be.

"If a guy like that is on the mound, we'll even lose games we should win!" Without any warning, Abe yelled out his thoughts, which startled the others even though they were practically glazing their eyes over their catcher. But regardless of his abrupt words, they all knew who he was talking about. And when Abe barked out a follow-up question, they could only nod at him in both agreement and slight panic. "The root of his personality is because he feels worthless himself. Mihashi feels tied up with that thought when he pitched throughout middle school." Abe explained it to them – but it was only his speculations. He just so knew that there was a deeper reason behind Mihashi, but he settled himself with that logic right now. "Until now he has no confidence and thinks that he is truly undeserving." He just maintained. "If we win this game, I think Mihashi can move forward one step. For his sake, I want us to win this game no matter what." He paused after he shared to him his thoughts. Abe looked at all of them – most especially towards Hanai.

The taller teen noticed the gaze that was given to him, though he seemed to get some meaning from it. Hanai wondered about something for some moment, before he understood what Abe wanted for him to do. With a single nod of acknowledgement, Hanai turned and looked at his fellow teammates. "I never intended to lose this game but I understand what Abe is saying." He began. "Today's game isn't just a practice game, but a game that'll decide our ace's future." He said assuredly, while stealing a stare back at Abe. _If this is what you want_… Hanai only thought after he spoke.

And everyone voiced out the same words after that. At least, Abe could count on the team for strengthening their support for Mihashi. It was one of the few things that they could do for Mihashi, since Abe would be playing the bigger part. After the incident with Kanō, Abe knew that he would be Mihashi's unlikely savior. And now that he already resolved to make Mihashi accept him, Abe had no choice but to work on obtaining that trust from their pitcher. It won't be too late to help Mihashi; the doors had just opened for him to support their pitcher.

As he thought of it, Abe was partly drawn with Tajima's weird glances. The cleanup batter wore a tight smile over his face. Though he technically looked pleased about motivating the team _help _Mihashi, there was a hidden frown that marred his lips. Tajima only stared at Abe as if he was gauging him, searching him for an answer to a question that he hadn't thrown him yet. It was strange for their energetic batter to be looking at him that way. Abe could only cross his brows in curiosity as Tajima gazed at him. And then Tajima worded some silent words, but Abe didn't hear them. After the weird scene, Tajima just grinned all out and expressed how fired up he was to win the game.

Abe was only silent with the brief and wordless exchange. In some way, it was like telling him that Tajima was thinking of other things… or possibly he knew something about Mihashi. But he was certain that aside from Mihashi and Kanō, only he and Hanai were present during that incident. But come to think of it. It was Tajima who was the first one to approach Mihashi when he seemed to have broken down. _Does Tajima know about it?_ Abe asked himself.

At the same time, Nishiura's inning ended, after being struck out consecutively. Abe waited for Mihashi to return to the dugout. The pitcher stopped short after noticing that Abe was already standing before him, looking up to him with his cold and piercing orbs. He excused himself and marched towards the baseball compartment. Shortly after removing the helmet from his head, Mihashi felt a cap had replaced it instantly. He realized that it was Abe-kun who placed it over his head. "A-Abe-kun…"

"Are you reluctant to walk batters?"

"Not at all…" Mihashi answered, shaking his head vigorously. "What I hate… is getting hit," He added. "Abe-kun, I want to… say s-s-something." Mihashi just said. And when Abe listened, his face only remained impassive, seemingly trying to grasp those words given to him by their pitcher.

Abe didn't answer back. He just motioned over Mihashi – who seemed not to have seen his gesture – for them to play defense for the next inning. In that regard, Abe realized, he just needed to poke himself closer to Mihashi. If he really wanted to help him, then it was Abe's initiative. After all, he wanted a pitcher for himself, and the only way for that to happen was for him to _win _one.

But before he was able to go to the catcher's box, Coach Momoe called for his attention, pointing out that his gear was loose. He bent down and checked on his uniform's straps, while Momo-kan took the other side. But as they did, Abe was slightly baffled when Momo-kan actually spoke to him. "Just focus on getting the batters out," she said. Abe only nodded, knowing that it was also one way of minimizing the damage of home runs. "I'll count on you to take _care_ of Mihashi." She finally said, making Abe stare at her with surprise.

"_Hai_," Abe could only say. With a slap on his back, Abe was sent into the field in order to play defense.

_That's right_, he began speaking to himself. _Mihashi is needed here in Nishiura_, he said in thought as he sprinted towards his spot, watching the pitcher stood at the mound by the sides of his eyes. _I've decided that with this game, I'll make him accept me_. Abe knelt down over the box and picked up the baseball left in purpose near the batter's box. "Mihashi!" He called their blond pitcher and threw the ball at the same time. Hearing the sound of the ball hitting the mitt made Abe's resolve even stronger than before. The catcher stared at Mihashi, showing him a confident set of eyes.

Perhaps it was the moment when Abe truly understood who he was to Mihashi. He was Mihashi's catcher, and it was his role to support their team and _his _pitcher. It was then he realized that it was his task to make their battery grow stronger, to share their power in order to win the game. And, after all, it was not simply just for the sake of winning the game – it was also to help Mihashi climb up from the hole that he had fallen to. _I need your trust on this one_, Abe added in his head. _I'm your catcher, Mihashi!_

**. . . . . . . . .**

It would have been called a _miracle_.

For a team of first team students to win against a long-established baseball team at their first try, it was truly an amazing moment for the members of Nishiura. Of course, everyone was happy that they made it through the nine innings. With a score of 6 versus 4, Nishiura had taken the lead during the top of the ninth. It was enough for them to bask themselves in joy.

Of course the credit of winning would be looked upon the merits of the offense, wherein Tajima played a center role to. But half of the gratitude of the team was sent to Mihashi, their ace and pitcher. With his incredible record of striking out Sakitama's players for more than two-thirds of their at-bats, he managed to decrease their batting capabilities and froze their scores in its place. But, even though they took the victory, it was still obvious that Mihashi was still reluctant to take the recognition for doing a great job for defending against their opponent. But most of the team just ignored his disinclination as a sign of humility, and continued to praise each other soon after.

But there were _four_ people within Nishiura who weren't oblivious of Mihashi's antics. First was Kanō. Though he showed that he was extremely glad of winning, he was still saddened by Mihashi's clear expression of averseness after he had pitched to victory. After all, he was one of the sources of Mihashi's brokenness that time. Second was Hanai. He didn't truly know what's behind both Mihashi and Kanō, but he was sensible enough to understand that each and everything that happened those times weighed heavily against the two pitchers. It was only an expression of his concern, but sooner or later Hanai knew that he had to keep watch if it turned into something bigger.

Of course, Abe was the third person. He was the person who stood with Mihashi. He was the one who Kanō indirectly asked helped to, so he was the one most knowledgeable of Mihashi's feelings. And though he had made Mihashi pitch out in a sweet victory, it seemed that the path in helping Mihashi had just really started. It was a path of fun and thorns, a path wherein he had to share the joy and sadness of baseball with Mihashi.

But, it was the fourth person who had made a surprising entrance. Tajima held out a wide grin, but Abe could exactly pinpoint that the cleanup's eyes were plastered over Mihashi – just like how Kanō and Hanai secretly check on the team's pitcher. Abe remembered that Tajima whispered something to Mihashi during the game and although he did not want to pursue on anything personal, it was enough for him to feel really curious. After they changed out of their uniforms, Abe quickly approached Tajima to ask him,

"What did you tell Mihashi that time?"

Tajima only eyed him at first, but then wore a thin grimace. "You should _strictly_ know that. You're the one who should know it _best_, right?" Tajima answered and went on his merry way towards Mihashi, catching the pitcher in a headlock. That was beginning of the questions. Abe just observed Mihashi and Tajima from afar. From the looks of it, there seemed to be something that Tajima thought that Abe had no idea of. But he knew that it won't be the last time he'd be reminded of it.

Right now, he'd let things pass.

It was only their first victory – and there were more to come.

And Abe only hoped that he'd discover more the story behind Kanō and Mihashi.

* * *

It was already sunset when the team reached the camp, after riding all the way back from their practice match against Sakitama. However, it didn't mean that it was reason enough for them to skip their duties in the house. Despite their obvious complaints, it only took one took a single glance from their coach to send them flying back into their current tasks, with Nishiura snapping their mouth close, in an attempt to muffle their own grouses. Just a little reminder of how Momo-kan crushed those oranges was enough to make them shiver.

But even though they were actually really tired from the game, Abe understood why their coach still drove them active. Technically, one team could basically participate in two practice sets in one day; a single game wasn't really enough to tire out a baseball team. He knew that in the weeks and months to come Nishiura would have to gradually increase its training menu and its practice loads. Perhaps it was one of Momo-kan's ways of telling them that their preparations were only starting to build up. Well, until the whole team realizes that, Abe would just need to keep silent and put up with the rally of complaints.

_And it's a good way to cool down_, Abe said in thought, stretching his arms up high after he had hung the second blanket in his charge over the wooden balustrade on the second floor. _After that sudden practice match, our bodies are still burning up some calories_, he thought. It would be best to take advantage of the energy being expelled by their bodies. To cool down was to loosen up their joints and muscles in order to prevent some side effects that often accompanied extreme activities. _Plus, I don't really want to suffer something at end of this camp_, he mentally sighed.

As he turned his head to his side, Abe noticed that Hanai was looking at him, after he had finished stringing up the clothes and covers in his side of the balcony. At the way that the taller teen looked at him, it seemed that Hanai did want to be noticed right away. It was evidenced when he did not even appear startled when Abe planted him a gaze. The nearly bald teen held his lips for some seconds, seemingly gauging Abe for that moment. Only for him to puff out an exhausted sigh. He slowly turned away from Abe settled down over the wooden floor.

Abe was certainly bemused with the sight. His mouth twitched randomly for a while as he held an incredulous look over his face. He shifted his form and faced Hanai, then wiping his weird look away his face. "What was that about?" He started, asking the question towards Hanai. The other teen's eyes landed on the periphery, though he pulled them away and looked far into the skyline, watching the streak that bordered the night and the day. Abe only groaned as he was seemingly ignored by the other teen.

"I was thinking of what you said earlier in the game," Hanai suddenly spoke, which slightly surprised Abe. "'If we win the game against Sakitama, it will be the first step for Mihashi to move on,' you said." The teen introduced. "You're not really referring to about what happened between Mihashi and Kanō, are you?" He finally asked, facing Abe that time. Hanai held a worried expression that time, a look that Abe considered before he picked up the right words for him to answer. Hanai watched first as Abe leaned over the wooden railings and sent his eyes away.

"I know you understand why Kanō said those stuff to Mihashi," Abe started. "And we both know how pitiful Mihashi's confidence to himself really is," the short and spiky dark-haired teen added, making Hanai nod at him in agreement. "Even though I don't personally like how Kanō managed it, I can see his point." Abe admitted. "I don't know if you felt it too, but I was _worried_ during our game." Abe shared to the other teen. "Hanai, did you not think that Mihashi might not be able to recover because of what Kanō did?"

Hanai was suddenly wide-eyed after he heard that. "No, I didn't," he said. "I'm just worried that Mihashi might not have given his best for that game after what happened," he told Abe. "But I haven't thought of it that way."

"For what reasons do you _purposely_ break a person?" Abe only responded in question. "I only thought before that a person can only be _healed_. When one is broken, he should only ask for help and then he would heal." He started to explain. "Being broken doesn't necessarily mean that you're hopeless; in fact, it should be the time for one to realize that he has the chance to heal." He slowly looked at Hanai at the point. "But why did Kanō break Mihashi instead?" Abe repeated the question, the one that had muddled his mind ever since that incident. "Is there a reason?"

"It just seems to me that Mihashi and Kanō are trying to hide something." Hanai informed Abe. "I don't certainly know what, but it's enough for me to understand that it's something that they don't want to think of even by themselves. Like there was something that happened in the past," Hanai postulated.

"Of course I want to know too," Abe just said, voice suddenly turning slightly irritated. "But as long as Mihashi remains that way, I won't have any chance of knowing." He added, looking back at the setting sun once again. "But it certainly means that Kanō and Mihashi are being tied down by their past. But Kanō understood that – that's why he had done it to Mihashi." He explained. "I just think that the reason why Kanō had purposely hurt Mihashi is for him to realize his true value. Kanō did that because Mihashi thinks he is helpless, despite the support he always had."

"What are you trying to say?" Hanai had placed his full attention to Abe at that point. Abe was certainly trying to tell him something, but, somehow, Hanai couldn't place it to Mihashi's situation. "Then why not just tell him that he is always being helped?"

"Because it's Mihashi's _rotten _personality," Abe answered, making Hanai frown immediately. "Kanō understood that Mihashi is _blinded _of the hopes around him, that Mihashi is _blinded_ of the fact that he isn't helpless to begin with. It's funny to discover that you will only realize the things around you when you're left with _nothing_." Abe closed his eyes for a moment, at the sudden appearance of a memory that he hated to view again. "It's when you lose everything that you will start to realize the small things around you. I understood that Kanō wanted Mihashi to think that he had nothing left so that he could truly see what exists around him." Abe expounded. "It's as if Kanō is trying to tell Mihashi to run around and seek help from the people around him. Kanō took _everything_ from Mihashi, just to teach him to take _everything_ back from those people who wanted to help him."

"And that means us?" Hanai quickly followed up. "We're basically the people who are now surrounding Mihashi." Slowly a droll smile appeared over his face, glancing slightly at Abe. "Well, are you just telling me that Kanō is purposely _using _us just to help Mihashi move on from whatever's bugging him?" He said, half-humoring and half-asking Abe with that question. But on the way how Abe appeared at that time, it seemed Hanai didn't need any answers anymore. "That's why you looked so pissed back then during the game," Hanai just pointed out, settling himself with a smile.

"It just depends on how you look at it." Abe answered, eyes still fixated in a distance. "But the first practice game was for Mihashi's sake. Even though I did want to win it myself, it was also a chance for us to help Mihashi. He had to move on from what happened to him in the past, and he needed to understand what Kanō told him before the game started." A grimace descended over Abe's lips. "After all, I don't want to settle myself with that kind of pitcher. I want an _ace _pitcher myself, a pitcher that would put as ahead and win the games we're going to play." He said. "And that's just what we're going to help Mihashi become," _what I want Mihashi to be_, he added as an afterthought.

Silence then fell between the two of them. However, they were soon attracted by the rhythmic noise that came from the staircases at the other end of the hallway. Hanai and Abe looked at that direction to see who was about to come up towards their shared room. Suddenly, the two of them stilled when they recognized the person.

And the person, too, appeared startled when their eyes met.

Kanō stood blankly as he saw that it was Abe and Hanai who were working upstairs. He had just finished his task and decided to go up and check on Mihashi, since he didn't find his friend downstairs. Though he did wish to see Mihashi, Kanō already decided that he would only take a peek on how his friend was doing, since he had no intentions of talking to him just yet; just remembering those painful words that he had thrown to him made him feel sick. Kanō still didn't know just how was going to face Mihashi after the affair that he had done.

He gave a reluctant nod over the other two teens as he proceeded down the porch. He hadn't had anything to say to Abe yet, even though he was the person he intended to be of help to Mihashi. It was still the moment for them to think of all the happenings that they just went through and, unfortunately, Kanō knew that he was still lost in the middle of grief and hurt he summoned to himself. Kanō tried to avoid Abe's gaze as much as possible, as he trod nearer the teen.

"Kanō," Hanai called him. Aside from Abe, it was Hanai who was equally knowledgeable about him and Mihashi. The brown-haired teen looked at Hanai after he had called him out and fixed an empty stare back at him. "How are you doing?" Hanai only asked, which almost made Kanō jump from his feet. It was obvious that Kanō wasn't expecting the question from the other teen.

"I'm fine." Kanō answered, although it was clearly stated on whim, a reflex answer to the typical question. But it was enough to tell Abe and Hanai about the situation Kanō was going through right now. "Mihashi?" Kanō only managed to say.

"Inside," Hanai said, pointing at the room at the same time. "I think he hasn't left the room since the three of us came up here." He added, looking rather concernedly back at Kanō.

"Thank you," Kanō answered as soon, as he opened the sliding doors even much wider. The brown-haired pitcher looked a little surprised to see Mihashi sitting silently in the middle of the room, somehow oblivious of the darkness that started to creep inside the room. It also seemed that he had attracted the attention of Abe when he stopped short just by the door's entrance.

"What's wrong?" The teen asked, as he leaned over to look inside. He was also slightly alarmed upon seeing the same sight as Kanō. He immediately stood up from the floor and took the spot just beside where Kanō stood. _Mihashi?_ He called out inside his head, observing the blond from the door. He walked past Kanō when it seemed that the other teen had no intention of moving further inside, and thinking that Mihashi was just worrying over about breaking a blister or something. "What're you doing there?" Abe finally asked after reaching Mihashi's spot, bending over and staring at the pitcher.

But instead of a verbal response, Mihashi suddenly wobbled for a second before his body dropped on the floor. Abe only watched in distress as the blond lay motionless just after bashing down against the floor. Abe quickly crouched beside the pitcher. "Mihashi?" He called, his voice sounding so worried. At the same time, Kanō quickly sprinted to see just what happened, and gave Mihashi the almost same expression Abe was wearing. To their relief, nonetheless, a closer look made them realize that Mihashi had just fallen asleep – deeply, in fact – as he snoozed softly while he lay on his side.

"What's up?" Hanai's voice echoed from the door. It seemed that Kanō suddenly hurrying inside made him aware of the situation inside. The teen with the nearly-shaven head looked curiously at both Abe and Kanō that time.

"Um, well, it's like—"

"He's sleeping?" Coach Momoe suddenly appeared in the porch, leaning slightly forward as she observed the teens inside the room. Hanai looked at her, since he was somewhat surprise that he didn't even notice her arrival.

"Is it okay to let him sleep?" Abe quickly asked. "It seems that he hasn't able to sleep much these days."

"Put him on a _futon_ so he won't catch cold." Momo-kan answered, giving Abe a big yet reassuring smile. The three of them – Hanai, Kanō and Abe – placed the still-sleeping Mihashi in a more comfortable position, with Abe covering the pitcher with a blanket after they had moved him. Momo-kan shared some words to him, thoughts that Kanō even listened to. Just when their female coach had finished talking to Abe, she then left, following Hanai who excused himself not too long ago.

"The coach has a point," Kanō muttered from the corner. He had settled himself in dim part of the room, huddling his knees nearer his body as he watched Mihashi from that far. "Mihashi obviously trusts you now, Abe. I haven't seen him sleep this well before, and I have to thank you for it." He just said, but still refusing to look at Nishiura's catcher. "Even though I just dragged him down and made him sad, he still found a sense of peace, which you gave to him." He continued, still staring wistfully at the blond pitcher. Kanō only watched the periodic rise and fall of Mihashi's chest, as he slept peacefully.

"But even so, you still feel bad that you made him sad," Abe just answered. He leaned over the wooden beam that framed the door, and, like Kanō, his eyes were fixed at the sleeping Mihashi. "I don't need to remind you that this is your decision."

Kanō only bit his lips. It wasn't like Abe was admonishing him for his choice – Kanō knew that – but the catcher was only being sensible for telling him that it just so happened because it _happened _that way. It was an extremely regrettable decision for Kanō, but he hadn't had any choice to begin with. "I'm aware of it, I know. I don't care if Mihashi hates me for it. But I can't take it that he's remaining behind the shadows." He responded. "He deserves better. He didn't have to tie himself with his past – _our _past. I want him to go so that he would gain the confidence for himself." Kanō told Abe.

"So, in extension, making Mihashi _hate_ you is one of your plans?" Abe just said, making Kanō flinch at his words. "I guess that will be good for Mihashi." The catcher said. "I'd rather have Mihashi turn towards me than _haplessly _reach out for you." Abe said harshly, making Kanō's eyes wide in surprise. "You know what, I felt really angry that you just have to throw him away like that. What would you do if I was not even willing to help him?" Abe seethed at Kanō. "What would you do if none of us actually want Mihashi?" He continued. "It was just selfish and careless of you, Kanō. You are fellow pitchers; though you understand him you just _belittle_ his feelings." Abe closed his hands and turned into a fist. "And yet you say he deserves better?"

"It's not like that," Kanō said in a soft voice, though it appeared that he wanted to defend himself. "I had no choice. I—"

"Just keep it to yourself," Abe cut him off. "I don't want to hear your reasons right now." He added, facing Kanō and looking really frustrated. "I'm really annoyed right now." He maintained. "Even though you struck him that way, Mihashi still highly thinks of you." Abe finally admitted. "Do you know what he told me during the game? '_I'm going to make Shū-chan recognize me once more_.'" Abe quoted that from their blond pitcher. "And I'm so frustrated that even though knowing about, I'm still decided to _help _Mihashi become a real ace pitcher and to fulfill what he wants." He raised his fisted hand towards Kanō that time. "I promised him that I'm going to help him become a real ace in this team. And if that means that I need to help the _two_ of you, then fine." Abe informed Kanō. "I'm going to help Mihashi _win _you back, if that's what's going to make him feel better. Better remember that, Kanō. Even though I understand what you want to happen, I'm just going to support Mihashi no matter what."

Abe stormed away from the room, stood on the doorway and held the two portions of the sliding doors with both of his hands. _I'll devote myself to you for the next three years_. He spoke to Mihashi in his mind. _I'll definitely make you feel glad that you chose Nishiura. And I'm going to tear down whatever is pulling you down_. Abe stole a final glance back at Kanō and saw a tear ran over his cheeks. He pulled his eyes away from him and closed the sliding door behind him. _And help you win everything you deserve_.

* * *

- **Chapter End** -


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